How To Deprogram Your Own Mind
by A. Orange
- Recognize that programming is everywhere, and
it isn't all bad. Your programming started with your parents teaching you
things, and both consciously and unconsciously programming you with all of
their beliefs and attitudes. That is not necessarily bad — it is usually
good. You are better off for having had parents who cared about you and wanted
to teach you. But unfortunately, you also inherited all of their misinformation,
superstitions, mistakes, and irrational and untrue beliefs.
And you also inherited your "culture",
which includes all of the false, irrational, and wrong beliefs of your entire
society. And you are left with the job of figuring out which of those beliefs
are good and true, and which are stupid and crazy.
And you are always vulnerable to pressure
from your peer group, which will always try to make you conform to their
beliefs, standards, and behavior, even if your friends are not even really
aware of the fact that they are doing it.
- Recognize that programming and deprogramming
are constant, on-going processes. Even while you are trying to deprogram
and clear your mind, television commercials will be trying to program you
into believing that you really should buy their product; you will be so happy
if you do, and you'll be beautiful and get laid too. And the politicians
will always be trying to make you believe that they are wise and right about
everything, and if you are patriotic you will never criticize them.
- Want to know the truth. This is essential.
This is the whole ball game. If you don't want to learn the truth, then you probably
Love the truth, even if it is sometimes
inconvenient or unpleasant. Respect the truth, cherish the truth, seek the
truth above all.
People stay trapped in cults, or trapped
in illusions, because they don't really want to know the truth:
- Sometimes, they are afraid to know the truth
- They fear that their world will fall apart
if they stop believing certain things, or admit the truth of other things.
That is one of the beliefs with which they got programmed — the idea that
if they don't believe the right things, they will go to Hell, or they will
lose their ticket to Heaven, or something else really bad will happen to
them. One of the things that cults do is implant phobias about leaving
the cult, or learning the truth about the cult.
- They are afraid of losing their
status or membership in the group — they are afraid that they will be shunned
and ostracized if they don't believe the same things as the other people
around them. And they are just plain afraid of being alone.
- They fear that they will have
to leave the cult if they stop believing in it, and they will stop believing
in it if they learn a bunch of negative things about it.
("Then what will I do with my life?!")
So they plug their ears and close their eyes, and play
"Hear no evil, see no evil..."
- Some people just
don't want to see that
they were fooled.
"I refuse to believe that I spent twelve years of
my life in a cult. It isn't a cult. It can't be a cult. It's a wonderful
As they say in A.A.,
"Denial isn't just a river in Egypt."
- Some people just don't want to give it up.
"If I leave the group, I will be lonely because I won't have any
friends. So shut up and quit telling me disturbing things about it."
"I have lots of time invested here. I'm a respected elder. If I quit the organization,
I'll be a nobody."
Similarly, people who choose to stay trapped in addictions do not wish to know the truth
about their addictions. Few people wish to hear that they are wasting all of their money
on something that is poison to them, and wrecking their lives,
and that continuing to consume that stuff is stupid?
So they try out the
minimization and denial
"Well, yeh, it might be
messing up my health a little bit,
I'm not ready to quit right now."
- Don't condemn yourself. Self condemnation
and self-criticism are
part of the brain-washing and
indoctrination process, and they are counter-productive when it comes to
deprogramming. If you find that you have been programmed to believe some
goofy idea, then just recognize that it is an irrational, illogical, goofy
idea, and reject it, but do not condemn yourself for having believed it for
It's just like, if, while exploring
the Wild West, you find that you have an arrow stuck in your back, pull it
- Don't wallow in self-contempt and guilt, condemning
yourself for having stupidly gotten an arrow stuck in your back.
- Don't imagine that you are somehow
all fucked up for having gotten stuck with an arrow.
- Don't imagine that finding an arrow
stuck in your back proves that you are somehow inferior.
Just pull the arrow out and then get on with your life.
Now that doesn't mean that you shouldn't
examine your behavior, and change it if you are doing something wrong. But
be wary of excessive fault-finding and self-criticism. Cults will teach you
to do that, and will even try to convince you that you will make yourself
more holy by constantly condemning yourself and putting yourself down and
feeling guilty about everything.
All that really accomplishes is messing up your mind, destroying
your self-confidence and self-respect, and making you unable to think clearly
or act decisively.
- Watch out for other people condemning
People who want to control you will try to make you feel stupid, inferior,
flawed, and mentally incompetent for disagreeing with them.
As mentioned above, self condemnation
and self-criticism are
a big part of the brain-washing
and indoctrination process, so those who would like to control you would
also like to get you criticizing yourself and being down on yourself. And
Prof. Margaret Thaler
Singer added that inducing feelings of powerlessness, covert fear, guilt,
and dependency in the victims was also a part of the brainwashing process.
So don't let them make you believe
that you are flawed and inferior. When someone is reading your beads and
listing your faults, it almost always means that they want to control you
— to change your behavior to something that they want.
- Also watch out for other people trying
to clip your wings, and keep you from being your whole self.
For example, one of the commonest crippling
stunts that cults or churches pull on people is demanding that they not feel
their feelings. "You must only feel Eternal Bliss" or "You must only feel
Serenity and Gratitude", or
"You must not feel sexual urges. That isn't spiritual."
Anger, especially anger at the evils of the cult
and its leaders, is supposedly very bad.
Bill Wilson wrote:
It is a spiritual axiom that every time we are disturbed, no matter what
the cause, there is something wrong with us. If somebody hurts us
and we are sore, we are in the wrong also. But are there no exceptions to
this rule? What about "justifiable" anger? If somebody cheats us, aren't we
entitled to be mad? Can't we be properly angry with self-righteous folk?
For us in A.A. these are dangerous exceptions. We have found that justified
anger ought to be left to those better qualified to handle it.
Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, William
Wilson, page 90.
What rot. You are wrong to get mad
when somebody hurts you or commits crimes against you? Such anger should
be "left to those better qualified to handle it"? And just who is that?
All it means is, you can't feel your anger. You have to "stuff your feelings."
Pseudo-religious garbage like that will do a good job of crippling you, and
keeping you from making trouble for your oppressors.
Likewise, some churches or cults will
tell you that you shouldn't feel horny, or find the opposite sex attractive,
or think about sex with them. Nonsense. Your brain is hard-wired to think about
it and want it — That's what keeps the human race going. We would be extinct
if we could be logical and rational about sex and having children. "Too much
bother; a big hassle; too expensive..."
But logic has nothing to do with it, and that's why we are still here.
Another common crippling stunt that
cults pull on their members is demanding that members stop thinking critically
— stop what they call "having doubts":
"If you are really holy, then
you won't have any doubts."
Nonsense. Normal, sane, healthy people have lots of doubts when con-men and
phony holy men try to foist a stupid illogical hoax on them. Those doubts
are your remaining sanity warning you that something sounds fishy.
Similarly, cults and other mind-manipulators
will tell you that you cannot
trust your own mind and your own thinking (so you should let them do
your thinking for you). If you buy into that idea, it will really cripple
you. You won't be able to think anything without also thinking that it must
be wrong, because you thought it. (But then the thought that your thinking
is wrong should also be wrong... So your thinking must be right...
But if your thinking is right, then it must be wrong... Now you are trapped in
one of the classic Greek paradoxes.)
- Beware of wanting to believe.
On the TV show "The X-Files", Mulder
had a poster on the wall of his office that said, "I Want To Believe". That's
okay for the X-Files and stories about flying saucers, but it leads to disaster
in real life.
Instead of wanting to believe, want
to know the truth.
Wanting to believe is perhaps the most powerful dynamic initiating and sustaining
The Wrong Way Home: Uncovering the Patterns of
Cult Behavior in American Society, Arthur J. Deikman, M.D., page 137.
Billy Graham says
that everyone really wants to believe in a dogmatic, fascist religion:
"The world longs for authority, finality, and conclusiveness. It is weary
of theological floundering and uncertainty. Belief exhilarates the human spirit;
quoted in Holy Terror: The Fundamentalist War on America's
Freedoms in Religion, Politics, and Our Private Lives, Flo Conway and
Jim Siegelman, page 144.
Also see: The Wrong Way Home: Uncovering the Patterns
of Cult Behavior in American Society, Arthur J. Deikman, M.D., page 143.
Certainty (as Billy Graham testified) is one of the great benefits of
[dogmatic] religious belief.
The Wrong Way Home: Uncovering the Patterns of
Cult Behavior in American Society, Arthur J. Deikman, M.D., page 144.
- Watch out for self-deceptive ego games.
For example, in some cults or religions,
they will flatter you and tell you that you are very important, and involved
in very important work, doing the Will of the Lord, ushering in the Millennium,
saving the world, if you believe what they say and do what they say. But
if you buy into their game, it is you who is allowing yourself to be deceived,
and it's you who is enjoying the big ego game.
Part of the attraction of believing the leader's views and actions to be
of paramount importance is that the follower's own sense of importance is
The Wrong Way Home: Uncovering the Patterns of
Cult Behavior in American Society, Arthur J. Deikman, M.D., page 67.
"If the leader
and his religion are saving the world, and I follow the leader, then I am
saving the world, which makes me very good and very important."
Conversely, if someone criticizes the
cult, its leader, or its teachings, then that reflects badly on the member.
If the cult member believes the criticisms to be true, then he will go from
being a noble savior of the world to being just a foolish follower of an
evil charlatan. So the member has a vested interest in rejecting any criticism
of the group or its leader — all based on his own egotism. Thus he will
resist learning the truth, out of purely selfish interests.
- Beware of comparing apples and oranges.
Beware of equating things that
are not equal.
For example, many people say that they
really like the A.A. program because it is such a wonderful social club with
such brotherhood and fellowship. Excuse me, but it is supposed to be an alcoholism
treatment program — something that would make more people quit drinking.
They seem to forget that it doesn't actually work to cure
alcoholism, and just proclaim that it's great because they like the social
life, the brotherhood and the "spirituality". That's mixing apples and oranges.
When I go to the doctor to get some medical care, I don't expect a big party
in the waiting room. I just go get the pills, and then go home. If I want a party,
I go someplace else.
- Watch your own mind.
Watch your thoughts, attitudes, and slogans.
Also watch your desires and fears.
This is the heart of the deprogramming
program. This is a constant, never-ending task. Watch your mind all day long,
or as much as you can remember to.
You have to not only watch what people
are telling you, but watch how you react to it, and what it makes happen
inside your head. Watch what you are thinking, and if you can, understand
why you are thinking that.
Notice your desires, and how certain
statements can arouse them. I'm not knocking desires, or asking you to. Just
look at them and make a note of what it is you actually want: love, approval,
status, importance, power, security, sex, youth, beauty,
wealth, possessions, knowledge, wisdom, intelligence, compassion, virtue,
goodness, spirituality, whatever. Then notice how certain ideas or statements can arouse
certain desires. And then notice how some people (especially politicians)
are skilled in tossing out buzz-words, phrases, and slogans that will arouse
certain desires in you. They are messing with your mind by manipulating your
Likewise, watch your fears, and see
how politicians and preachers are
good at arousing them to manipulate your thinking.
"If you don't suspend the Bill of Rights and let the
Homeland Security Force violate everybody's privacy and spy on everybody,
then the nasty Arabs will get you."
"If you don't give the oil billionaires a big
tax cut, and let them drill for oil in every wilderness and wildlife preserve
in the world, then they will go broke and run out of oil and you will freeze
in the dark."
"If you don't believe all this stuff, and give
your money to the preacher man, then God will get mad at you and you will
go to Hell."
- Watch out for commonly accepted fallacies
— the things that
are true, but which aren't, like "Everybody knows that the world is flat".
For example, it is commonly accepted
that alcoholics can't or won't quit drinking until they
"bottom out" or "hit bottom".
That is completely untrue. People quit at all stages of alcoholism; some
even quit before they could even be called alcoholics, because they see a
nasty problem starting to develop.
So how did the idea that alcoholics
must hit bottom come to be such a universally accepted piece of folklore?
Well, what happened is Bill Wilson found that ordinary, relatively-sane people
wouldn't join his cult religion or believe in his grandiose, bombastic sermons,
or accept his brain-damaged superstitious nonsense. Only the really sick,
frightened, dying people who were desperately grabbing at anything that might
save their lives would swallow Bill's bullshit. So Wilson made up a story
about how alcoholics can't really quit drinking and start to recover until
they "hit bottom"
and "the lash of alcoholism drives them to A.A."
Steps and Twelve Traditions, page 24.) A.A. members have been
spreading that particular piece of misinformation for the last 60 years, and
now, everybody who thinks he knows something about alcoholism repeats it.
But it is still untrue.
You can find plenty of similar examples,
everywhere. "The common wisdom" often isn't wise or knowledgeable.
- Watch out for irrational beliefs. Our society is loaded with them,
and you hear them often, and often, they are not clearly stated.
Beware of people trying to shove hidden, unspoken, value systems on you.
Beware of The Should Trick — the assumption of unstated and unexamined values and moral standards.
Some big red warning flags of merely assumed values are key words like:
- Ought to
- Supposed to
- Have To
Statements that contain those words often contain assumed, unstated, beliefs about values,
- "Look at those teenage girls, dressing so sexy. They shouldn't dress like that."
- "It's Friday night, and I should be able to drink with my buddies.
I deserve a drink. I worked hard all week, and now I deserve to be able
to relax and enjoy myself now."
- "The poor ought to go get a job, instead of complaining and wanting help."
- "I deserve the best of everything, because I was born a member of the better class
— I come from a very old-money family. We really are royalty, you know."
- "The policians ought to tell us the truth. It's awful, the way that they
habitually lie to us."
- "I must pass this test or my life will be ruined and I'll go crazy."
(Beliefs about values may be true or untrue. They are not necessarily
The six examples above were selected because they all contain erroneous
assumptions — even the one about politicians.)
Also notice the exaggeration of negativity — which
Dr. Albert Ellis called
- "It's so awful, I can't stand it."
- "It's absolutely terrible, and nobody should have to put up with it."
A good way to handle irrational beliefs is to dispute them with challenges like:
- "Who says?"
- "Since when?"
- "Is that really true?"
- "Where is it written in stone?"
- "Where is the evidence for that?"
- "Why do you believe that?"
- "Where did you hear that?"
- "Who told you that, and why did they say that?"
And there is the technique of "I would prefer", as in:
- "I would prefer it if the politicians would tell the truth, instead of
being a bunch of lying sleaze-bags, but if they persist in their practices of
deceit and deception, I can stand it. I don't have to get all bent out
of shape, and start drinking and doping, just because of them."
- "I would prefer it if the American people were intelligent and wise enough
that all politicians could tell them the whole truth all of the time, and still win elections,
but if the American people persist in their stupidity, I can stand it. It won't kill me."
Notice mental habits like rating others. For example, a girl judges everyone she meets, rating the
boys on whether they are good enough for her, and rating the girls on whether they are good enough
to be her friend. Where did such behavior come from? Obviously, she learned it from her parents.
The problem with such a mental habit is that it warps one's thinking and colors all relationships,
and then the girl's own self-image will be judged the same way. Like it says in the Bible,
"Judge not, lest ye be so judged." Well, it's applicable here.
The kicker question is, what are the standards by which everyone is being judged? Where did those scales
and rules come from? Again, almost certainly from the girl's parents. But are those standards valid,
or realistic, or even sane?
Is she judging people on the basis of superficial things like style or expense of clothes, or available money?
Or taste in music, or willingness to conform to the group (clique), or willingness to follow the leader?
Or physical attractiveness, or athletic skills?
Likewise, an abused and bullied child will often rate everyone on a scale of whether they want to hurt him.
That is understandable, but it often leads to some appallingly bad choices of friends — the child will
find someone acceptable just because the new friend isn't a bully who wants to hurt him.
- Read Kasl and Sagan:
Charlotte Kasl "Many Roads, One Journey: Moving Beyond the 12 Steps",
Carl Sagan "The Demon Haunted World: Science as a Candle in the Dark".
What those two books have in common is that they both push common sense
and logic, and leave me with a sort of positive, upbeat feeling. They will
help to clear things up and put some good ideas in your head.
- Understand the games that the mind-programmers
and brainwashers play on people's heads, and the techniques that they use
For instance, there is the phenomenon
called "cognitive dissonance". What it means is: People want to keep all
of their beliefs, actions, thoughts, and feelings in harmony with each other.
People want to do what they believe is right and good, and if they do otherwise,
they feel bad — they feel "dissonance". The "dissonance" is just like musical
dissonance — it feels jarring and discordant and wrong.
Brainwashers have discovered that they
can use cognitive dissonance to change people's behavior, beliefs, feelings,
and thoughts — force a change in one, and the others will follow. If you
force people to perform certain actions, they will eventually come to believe
that it's okay — it must be okay, because they wouldn't want to be doing
bad things all of the time.
If you force people to say something out loud
to a group over and over again, the speakers will eventually come to believe
that it is true, because they don't want to feel like they are habitual liars.
The subconscious mind's solution to the problem is: believe that it is all
true, so now there is no conflict. (That's why A.A. instructs
newcomers to "Fake It Until You Make It.")
Since we normally only reveal our innermost,
most embarrassing and damaging secrets to our closest and most trusted friends,
if we confess everything to a room full of strangers, then cognitive dissonance
kicks in, and our subconscious minds will start to assume that those people
must really be our closest, most-trusted, friends. That eliminates the conflict
over having told embarrassing personal secrets to a bunch of complete strangers.
Our feelings will actually change so that we feel much closer to those people.
Alcoholics Anonymous, and
various cult churches use this technique to create feelings of instant intimacy,
closeness, "brotherhood", and "fellowship" among the members of a group.
Likewise, if you force people to perform
horrible acts, like kill Jews in a concentration camp, then the killers will
change their beliefs about the victims to make their actions okay, and will
eventually come to the conclusion that there is nothing wrong after all. "It
isn't really murder because they aren't really people. They are enemies of
the state, and need to be eliminated. They have it coming for what the Jews
did to us. They are a threat to us, and must be eliminated." That stunt usually
(but not always) works even if the killers had originally thought that Jews
were okay people. (A small, seldom-mentioned detail of history is that not
all German soldiers could stomach killing the Jews. Some soldiers had to
be transferred out of the concentration camps because they were going nuts
just from seeing all of the Jews killed.)
A recent movie showed how the Nazis
would pick out some Jews to act as workers in the concentration camps, forcing
them to manage the other Jews who were being herded into the gas chambers.
Those worker Jews would of course experience horrible conflicts over their
job of helping to kill their fellow Jews, but cognitive dissonance would kick
in, and they would end up seeing everything in terms of proper order, proper
behavior, and proper functioning: "A Jew who makes a fuss and disrupts the
efficient workings of the gas chambers is a trouble-maker and a bad Jew.
Good Jews should just go along with the procedure in an orderly manner
and not make any trouble."
- Break the exclusivity of information input.
Avoid getting all of your information from just one group or one source.
(Any one source. Don't trust anybody that much.)
Examine both (or all) sides of an issue. Don't let anyone
dictate what you may read, see, or hear. One of the most powerful tools that
cults or Communists or fascists use to brainwash people is information control — preventing
the victims from getting any information contrary to the brainwashing.
Recognize that three different people
who all say the same thing is not necessarily three different sources of
information. For example, the evening news programs of NBC, ABC, and CBS
may all tell you exactly the same story, just parroting the information that
was just released by the White House.
Also, the corporate owners of the networks
often keep Jennings, Brokaw, and Rather from telling the ugly truths or asking
the hard questions. Powerful stock-holders similarly muzzled the
New York Times, and kept it from reporting how Gov. Jeb Bush
rigged the Presidential election in Florida in 2000, so such problems
(Jeb did it by removing about 60,000 honest black people from the voter
registration lists, claiming that they were "felons".)
Sometimes, National Public Radio
or Public Television will tell you something else, but sometimes you may
have to go on the Internet and check out BBC or the London Times to get the
other side of the story. And also check out Canada and Sydney, Australia,
and New Delhi, India while you are at it. They speak English, too.
And so do the people of
(Remember "Lord of the Rings"?)
Similarly, don't just listen to 12-Steppers to get information about alcoholism
and drug addiction.
Like they said on The X-Files: "Trust Nobody. The Truth Is Out There."
- Break self-programming.
People often get programmed to program themselves:
- Think about the guy who is always playing "motivational"
tapes that will supposedly teach you how to get rich quick or build up your
self-esteem or something... Now lots of cults are into it too, and they have
a set of tapes for you.
- And then there are the people who
are always reading the same book or small set of books over and over again,
as if those books held all of the wisdom in the world.
- Then there are people who just constantly
repeat slogans, which effectively stops them from actually thinking.
- And there are some people who practice
meditation or chanting constantly, reprogramming themselves and stopping
rational thought, all day, every day. (Note that meditation and chanting
can be good things, but phony gurus teach people to use them excessively,
as mind-control tools.)
- And then there are meetings, services,
and get-togethers. Churches and cults have church services and "Bible study"
and socials, and A.A. and Amway have a meeting for every occasion. Note that
this is a matter of frequency, and of how much time they take out of your
life, and what they are really trying to sell you.
One church service a week is normal for all churches, but when someone
tells you to do "90 meetings in 90 days", or to come to motivational meetings
or chanting or meditation
or prayer or Bible study sessions every single day, then the warning bells
should be going off in your head. And you should be hearing
klaxon horns and air raid sirens when people brag about doing three meetings
- And then there is denial and rationalization.
Some people will endlessly deny or rationalize every negative thing they
hear about their leader or their church or cult (or their corporation or
their political party, or whatever). They will never actually let a contrary
idea get into their heads.
- — Which leads to self-censorship.
Some people censor their own minds, and will not even allow themselves to
think one forbidden thought. So of course they stay programmed.
- TV Commercials sell you images, and
they are very powerful. Watch out. They tell you that you will be beautiful
and sexually attractive if you look like their images.
"You want to buy these clothes, and style your hair like this, and wear
these glasses, and lose weight, and make your waist narrower and your boobs
bigger, if you are a female. And if you are a male, you will want to flash
the cash and drive this kind of a car, and buy this kind of a house so that
you can move in a trophy wife..."
They are selling you images of "the
beautiful people". After a while, you will start to feel like there must
be something wrong with you if you don't look and act like the people on
TV. And you will start to think you must be a weirdo if you don't believe
and say what the people on TV believe and say. But the beautiful people on
TV are paid to only say non-disturbing things, to not rock the boat. They
won't tell you about their sponsors — corporate polluters — poisoning your
children, not a word. They won't tell you that the sponsor's car is a deathtrap,
likely to roll over or explode in flames. They won't tell you that their
sponsor cheats its own employees out of their retirement funds and health
insurance. They won't say anything about their sponsors feeding your children
pesticide- or herbicide-contaminated or genetically-altered food, not a word.
That would be making trouble.
So just how beautiful are those beautiful people, really?
Are you sure you want to be like them?
Nevertheless, those images are still extremely
attractive, aren't they?
Years ago, there was a rather iconoclastic
Commissioner of the FCC named Nicholas Johnson who said that there was a
lot more on TV than meets the eye. He observed that furniture polish commercials
actually sell expensive hardwood furniture as well as the polish. They imply
that your life will somehow be happier, more elegant, genteel, and cultured,
if you have a beautiful house full of the kind of furniture that requires
So, as you watch TV, watch how they
are trying to program your mind. Watch what they are really selling. Notice
what they are selling, besides what they seem to be selling.
As a defense, don't
watch so much TV. And even if you are an addicted media junkie, you can still
watch video tapes and DVDs instead of channels with commercials. That way you, not
they, control your information input. Oh, and Public Television isn't so
bad, either. And then there is the Internet. It has banner ads, but it just isn't
nearly as hypnotic, and your information stream is not controlled by just a few
- Read the web page on
Propaganda Techniques several times. It
helps to understand and recognize the stunts they pull on you and the mind
games they play on your head to get you to accept certain ideas and beliefs.
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Last updated 13 October 2012.
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