How long did it take to deprogram from your “support group” of choice?

Less than one year
40% (4 votes)
About one year
10% (1 vote)
More than one year but less than two years
0% (0 votes)
Over two years but less than five years
10% (1 vote)
More than five years
0% (0 votes)
I don't know since I am still deprogramming
40% (4 votes)
I don't know, I just woke up one morning and I was fixed
0% (0 votes)
Total votes: 10

Comments

There is a "tingle" of anger every now and then. I don't think that will go away.
AntiDenial's picture

Anger is okay, especially after AA has taught people to repress their anger.

"I welcome all allies in the fight against A.A. hegemony" -Orange

www.leavingaa.com www.expaa.org

NA DAYTONA Violent Criminals Mandated to AA and NA Meetings
http://nadaytona.org/alcoholics-anonymous-votes-no-to-protect-members-from...

JR Harris's picture

I think I'm still deprogramming and trying to figure out what could of and should be done different to prevent ending up in this trap. I think everyone knows I started in Al-anon where I was diagnosed as a 'normie" after I sent my wife to a 12 Step Rehab. I was the only wage earner in the family with the exception that my wife did have several low end jobs that she ended up getting fired from. I ended up in AA and was diagnosed by the members first a dry drunk, then an alcoholic, then a raging alcoholic. My wife was a 90 day wonder (someone that goes to 90meetings in 90 days and starts recruiting for AA with a passion) and in a year she was juggling on average 6 sponcees. Her Sponsor had about 30 years in AA and taught her well. Looking back at it there were many warning signs that I just didn't see. Now I am just deprogramming myself from something that I just realized was a big warning sign. I worked a lot of overtime and had the day off and woke up in the morning after my wife went to her AA meeting and cut the grass (gas push mower not a riding one). I was also left with the kids to take care of. When I was done I rested in a recliner and started to watch TV. My wife came home with about 4 of her sponcees which they normally do. I was in the living room and it obviously upset them because that is where they usually congregated and they went into the dining room. I could hear them say stuff like I should be doing more around the house instead of laying around and specifically mentioned that I should steam clean the carpet in the living room. I was polite and decided to not even say anything because I didn't want to cause trouble. The thing is it caused more trouble than I realized at the time and it still bothers me today. You see after this happened I was approached by numerous members in AA and Al-Anon saying that I have to support my wife more in her sobriety and do more around the house. One even offered to steam clean the carpet if I paid her a small amount of money. This outraged me, but I still didn't get upset and let it slide. I will admit I didn't rush to steam clean the carpet because of this. How should I have handled it? Looking back at it I should have gotten up and taken the steam cleaner out of the closet and taken it to the dining room and said "hey hon, I just finished cutting the lawn and worked all week to pay the bills, would you mind steam cleaning the carpet today?" That would have maybe stopped the progressive cult of Alcoholics Anonymous where they teach the members to diagnose others as a "normie" then "dry drunk" then "alcoholic"and finally a "raging alcoholic." Orange just received a letter that highlights these actions of AA members (nothing about carpets,but it does show that they try to find alcoholic prospects everywhere they can). The letter can be read and discussed here: http://orange-papers.org/forum/node/5298

~You can not moderate the truth. Just don't lie, steal or make stuff up out of thin air and expect to get away with it without it being pointed out to you. It's really very simple.~

SimonTemplar's picture

Just walking on a street and someone across the street shouting"YOu're walking pretty good for carrying a cane!!" Or at prem's program.sitting to table w/2 degenerates and WTF/#1 why's he sitting at OUR TABLE I mean jsut going down to eat buffet breakfast ande sitting down at a table and Nan I sit ehre/ shoulda coulda known-correct answer=FUCK OFF ASSHOLE IT'S MY TABLE /WHEN I LEAVE/I'M TAKING IT WITH ME!! FIND ANOTHER TABLE. No we're so programmed by society tobe polite when others are being complete jackasses/now be nuci suzzy/johnny/sally be nice to him/her when B's and B's =it's all wasted kindness/effort Well /talking about how my one student has waiteed over 16 months there's been 2 Knowledge sessions and answer from BITCH "YOU NEED TO DO MORE MEDIATION!" Coulda shoulda woulda siad/didn't ask for your advice don't want your advice/what does my mediation have to do with master Bator playing so nicey nice .but behind Maharaji's back working against him- to prevent others from learning what he teaches?? But how can they help from playing Guru with others lives when theri own are so empty and meaningless/I mean all these decades with prem and what \have they learned?? Knowledge is perfect/god is perfect does that mean the students are PERFECT/NOT.do they Even have one hour in their busybody lives to give to experiencing and surrendering to God/NOT. This my #1 hatred for AA and humans in general Surrender to God/never gonna happen/I am God so now = OBEY ME! OBEY ME! OBEY ME! OBEY ME.Pathetic losers/whiners /pissants. Prem knows and has said, to room with thousands o people: "If even one person here understands what I am saying then it's all worthwhile" Took me long long time to understand why he said that. We live in a world where xy%?30%? 50 % want to be seen as Gods/gurus but rule is first learn then teach/nope/I wanna teach b-4 Ilearn. deprogramming from diseased society wanting CONTROL OVER MY LIFE. clones look alikes/all wanting some pwoer over my life/w/o self control. such an f--ed up world with so many idiots/I's and A's. When completely lost will spout such verbiage to seem completely in control and like theyre ally KNOW what;s happening 100x 365= 100 years o life = how many days wasted.lost?? How many were enjoyed? lived as you wanted to live?? not as some jackass told you to live your life??? When asked about "civilization"Ghandi said "I think it would be a good idea." Lighthouse in mtns/ going inside for LOVE.hopeing for 2 hours tonight b-4 pills hit..

I SPY

The parts about you wife is eerily very similar to my situation. After her attending for a few months I questioned things and I was told Alanon might be helpful. I do not know why but I never bought into it from the start - maybe because I knew my wife was not an alcoholic (I am in denial - lol!) so there is something screwy going on. Without getting into details - She said some things which just did not make sense. I never drank. , was a father of infants at the time - trying to start a career was difficult enough but now I need to make sure I am home to watch kids for the for the 90-in-90. Sure it made me resentful. As I am writing this I am thinking - she did not take anything harmful her whole pregnancy - how did she do that without a 12 Step Program - hmmm!
JR Harris's picture

Well it actually goes even deeper than that. When my wife was in Rehab she became friends with an elderly gentleman that had already been there for about 1 1/2 months. He ended up there because he was hospitalized with alcohol poisoning. I also became friends with him and he told me where he lived which was only a few miles from my house and even gave me his number. Shortly after he left the counselors gave an announcement that he had relapsed and is in big trouble which my wife told me about. I did make the the mistake of calling him just to see what is up. He was fine and was not slurring his words or anything. I even made a trip to his home. This I believed is where I screwed up and fell into the trap that AA sets. While there, I mentioned what was the rumor was about him in the Rehab and it did infuriate him. He said he was not going to AA and that was why the rumor was started. I probably did the usual rolling of the eyes. Looking back at it now I realize why the rumor started. Every night the Rehab trucked the patients to different AA meetings all around town. They looked for him at each meeting and asked if anyone had seen him and no one had so of course he must have relapsed and is going to end up in jails, institutions or death.. I feel bad about calling him and going over his house to talk to him now because I realize that is what the cult wanted me to do. I am sure that other people called him up and visited him also only adding more fuel to the fire. My wife and other AA members eventually told me that he ended up in the same Rehab again a few months later. The Rehab again trucked him to 7 outside meetings a week and all of the AA members including my wife said that the Rehab saved saved him because they saw him at meetings again. I also remember having a one on one with my wife's counselor and he told me that sometimes Rehab has to be done a few times before it "sticks." The reason I am still in the deprogramming stage is because I now realize that it was a self fulfilling prophesy where everyone was most likely calling him to do the same thing which infuriated him even more. It took me years to understand what really happened and am still not sure how I should have handled it. I added fuel to the fire as I am sure everyone else did. What should I have really told him? Should I have even gotten in the cult tactics that were used to make him spend another fortune to learn AA? I think I know better now and wouldn't have done what I did. The problem is how can I control the actions of the other people that were doing the same thing? That is one of the reasons that I like the name of the book "Quicksand: The Darker Side of 12-Step Programs" because when you leave AA you have to do it very slowly, because if you struggle the cult just sucks you back in. I believe that coming up with a way to prevent this from happening to others is important. The question is how do you inform people what is really going on? The thing is as everyone knows the giving out of phone numbers to other members of the cult is prevalent and they will try to suck you back in as soon as you leave.

~You can not moderate the truth. Just don't lie, steal or make stuff up out of thin air and expect to get away with it without it being pointed out to you. It's really very simple.~

The truth shall set you free! :)

I think some people need a LOT of deprogramming still, personally. They've been out a long time, but it's deeply engrained in there. One thing I love about these and similar circles is that people can discuss being recovered, and I mean RECOVERED, PAST TENSE, and it's not a big deal! Someone can have realized, after not drinking for years, decades even, that they are never going to drink alcoholically again (or were just never an alcoholic to begin with), mention they're going to go have a beer and no one goes all stereotypical and annoying on them about it. It's accepted as a RECOVERED person just having a damned beer, you know? I've just seen a few posts here and there from people that indicate a bit more of the stereotype that is usually bashed in here, but coming from members who usually think that's a terrible way to act towards someone. I have had a few times of having to take something, medically necessary, doctor prescribed (duh) and ended up reacting badly to it, and I think it's odd that I got NO flack from some of my friends offline but got a few heavily AA speeches from people in anti-12 step online circles. None of them recent, thank heavens, and most people around here are cool, but damn, I had one 100% pure "addict in denial" sort of talk down maybe a year ago (over a few days worth of a med), and it just was, well, it was surprisingly AA to me. I'd like to hope that I'm deprogrammed to the point that I am not capable of trying to shame anyone for what choices they want to make. The other day a friend from here mentioned something about having a beer, and I don't think it hit me for a few days how awesome it is that all I could think was this was a regular, normal person just kicking back after a busy day and relaxing. May everyone be that deprogrammed.
criticoolthinking's picture

when i don't think i am defective for having all my feelings the feelings become satiated integrated into a wholler being i don't have to get rid of any feelings ever when i am at one with my feelings and myself they become at home in my skin like a cry that feels good to cry and anger you are glad you have they do not always occupy consciousness but i may access them when i need them they are well know to me not awkward strangers or loose cannon enemies acting against me reinforcing the false notion of happiness = healthiness aggravates the sense of being at one with our self whenever i feel the feeling is wrong is when it bothers me crying and being upset while i am at one with myself is very satisfying therefore i meditate i am a radiating sphere of consciousness with all my experiences and feelings arrayed in balance around me they are all welcome & respected & have their place and value in me i may access this wholeness of feeling at any time forever in a singleness of being in the center of the sphere

i get high on the sky!

criticoolthinking's picture

the human mind is the evolution of the universe itself sit back and pondering [and deprogramming] its own existence. so far as i know that is my original quote although like any other original quote it emanated from a singularity where we all existed at one time and thought it too

i get high on the sky!

criticoolthinking's picture

the human mind is the evolution of the universe itself sit back and pondering [and deprogramming] its own existence. so far as i know that is my original quote although like any other original quote it emanated from a singularity where we all existed at one time and thought it too

i get high on the sky!

criticoolthinking's picture

the human mind is the evolution of the universe itself sit back and pondering [and deprogramming] its own existence. so far as i know that is my original quote although like any other original quote it emanated from a singularity where we all existed at one time and thought it too

i get high on the sky!

NoAAUK's picture

“support group” of choice? I wouldn't call AA a support group and certainly not one of choice, when I first became involved with the cult in 1980 it was the only group for people with a drink problem and still is for most people. I don't think the official policy of 'no criticism of the stepper cult' practiced by Smart and individuals of other so called alternatives helps this situation either. I'd say it took over two years to deprogram from the indoctrination of this cult, I was still saying that people who left the stepper cult probably returned to drinking when I met an Anti Stepper in London and had read the Orange Papers and was promoting MM, this cult indoctrination is so deep rooted, I said what I said without fully realising that I was just repeating standard stepper cult indoctrination. I believe the widely and falsely understood notion that steppers are actually experts at stopping drinking (as opposed to experts at practicing the dogma of a 1930's cult) is very much responsible for this deep rooted indoctrination, as is the wide spread censorship of the true statistics and activities and outright lies and scare mongering of this cult (I'm still waiting to die even though I walked out of my last stepper cult indoctrination session, mid meeting a few years ago now)
......and many false prophets will appear and deceive many people. Matthew 24:11

It amazes me that you have the nerve to come on this site and claim that you are "recovered." Isn't it true that you slug down a weeks worth of cough syrup in one day, and that you've recently snorted ambien? Your whole internet persona is a lie, Perse-phoney.
The truth shall set you free! :)

Enough was more than enough 6 days ago.

Pro Empowerment!