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Seth Andrews : "curiousty is often killed by religion"
Wed, 03/12/2014 - 12:53
Thanks for the link. Highly enlightening video.
Wed, 03/12/2014 - 14:14
good, and accurate in my own life experience as well.
Great video. Thanks. I shared it! lol
Fri, 03/14/2014 - 17:13
I think my life has just taken a 180 degree turn. No, wait, a 180 fast-forward spin. I followed up on this link, Ed, and I don't think I will ever be the same. Thank you. I love the Thinking Atheist site.
Through a series of clicks, blogs, and hours of youtube videos, I found myself nodding my head up and down, agreeing and identifying with Seth and other people on the videos. Especially this one: "Rebecca Vitsmun: I'm Actually An Atheist" (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-iUcD86YvlE&feature=youtube_gdata_player) What an incredible story. Something clicked inside when I heard her say those words -- "I'm actually an atheist."
Perhaps this is yet another reason AA never sat right with me. I faked god for decades, trying to make it (as they so stupidly say), going against everything inside me. Christianity never worked for me. I wanted it to. AA sure ruined that one for me forever. But I kept faking it on and off. Writing this is kinda difficult for me. Everything inside my head for the past few days has really begun hurting my brain. :) I have smiled, cried, jumped up and down, cried, laughed, sighed... Something has changed.
I questioned the god-stuff, but tried to go with it so desperately bcuz I wanted to stay off meth and pills and be a good mommy to my baby. When jesus and god no longer worked for me, I hugged fucking redwoods and sequoias for 6 miserable white-knuckling years, still reciting the god-steps bcuz they said I'd fail if I didn't do like they all did. For awhile I practiced wiccan, but I just do not believe in the many deities, incantations, spells, and magick. Well, except the ocean magick. I have this mysterious affinity for the ocean.
Then I tried doing the god-thing again. Fail. Next Zen & Kabballah & Hinduism, finally becoming a bit more comfortable with Buddhism and the things I absorbed in the 60's. I like the peace, love, be nice, and 'don't be a fucking dickhead' philosophy. Ram Dass, Alex Grey, Deepak Chopra, John Lennon and others had quickly become my gurus, but only because some of the feel-good spiritual, artsy-fartsy, hippie stuff sits right with me.
Mixing AA and Buddhism didn't work. I tried. I couldn't swap out god for Buddha. Buddha is not a deity. One day in AA (probably during my last meeting) I finally couldn't take it anymore, and yelled at my last sponsor, and my then-boyfriend, and the room full of zombies that, "I QUIT this bullshit nonsense! I DO NOT BELIEVE IN GOD! ESPECIALLY YOUR GOD!!" I do not think I totally let that one sink in totally at the time. I told them I was a fucking Atheist, and to shove their doorknobs.
Leaving AA was hard enough to do. Letting go and beginning the deprogramming process was yet another. But I did it, I think I'm progressing nicely, and I'm glad for it. I often reminisce about that wondrous day. What a freedom! I left the roomz, put my then-3-yr-old grandson into his stroller, and we beat-feet to the Buddhist temple/grounds. I still go there occasionally. It's quiet and no one bugs me there. So for the past 2 years now I've been happy away from the AA cult, but something has been kinda missing in my life. I'm not sure what. Or maybe I do, but... I can't pinpoint it. I sure the hell do not miss AA or any XA.
Other events this last year have emotionally piled on, leaving me to once again to re-evaluate my life and beliefs, life in general, and making myself accept some things -- especially with my daughter & grandson moving away, and me taking care of her daddy (my ex-hubby & uber-best friend), shockingly finding him dead one morning here, grieving the loss which still aches, helping my daughter & grandson deal with it, having major back surgery, ending a friendship with my once bestest-ever girlfriend who found it impossible to keep her fucking hands off my pain meds, and me stopping the morphine meds last month cold turkey.
After Gramps died, a friend of his began coming over every Friday. Nice lady, but she' trying her best to convert me with her bible. I debate nicely with her, but just as in AA I find too many inconsistencies and stuff I can't believe in. In one of Seth's videos, he mentions something about going ahead and reading the bible, then coming to our own conclusion. I can't get past Genesis.
When I stopped abusing substances, none of my dope-fiend friends wanted to have anything to do with me. Fair enough. The feeling was mutual. When some of my christian family members discovered I had dabbled in wicca/zen/other religions/yoga/buddhism, they did the same. When I once dated a gentleman not of my color, they reacted like I had the plague. And when I quit the AA-cult, I soon found out just how many friends I had from there. Zero. I occasionally see smiling detractors in town which warms my heart.
I'm about ready to let the rest of my family members and some other friends know that I do not believe in any god. It's funny, but I already anticipate them all de-friending me on facebook. How easy that must feel for them to Click/Delete family members based on my thoughts, feelings & belief systems. Whatever. Do I really need these judgmental people? Nope.
I have 2 younger brothers & my daughter (all 3 atheists) & my grandson who love me just the way I am, and I them. My 2 cats couldn't care less if I'm female or male, straight or gay, purple or green, or whether or not I have jesus and god in my heart. All they want is for me to feed them and love them, keep the fleas away, brush them, love them to pieces, and let them outside before I vacuum. I can live with this. :) Peace.
(Fuck. This is long.) Thanks again for the youtube links.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*Hi. I'm Rainbow, and I'm a belligerent savage...
Fri, 03/14/2014 - 18:40
we don't (humans in general) think this shit threw and it takes eons to realize, "Well shit, I don't REALLY believe there is a god." Well shit, no wonder AA drove me to keep drinking! LOL
My son is a very outspoken atheist after living in the bible belt of TX for 4 years. It took him explaining to me to get me to think about what I really thought. I mean to evaluate the situation, to look at it critically. Was I that brainwashed and unable to think with my own brain? I guess I was! Seriously, not funny.