Hi Everyone: I am 60 days into the "train wreck" that AA has caused in my life. My story is on this blog. There are days when I feel so sad and lonely, I do not know where to turn. I am not thinking of harming myself, just trying to deal with the "funk" I am in.
I still love my wife and cannot even figure out how this marvelous, intelligent woman could fall for the cult aspects of AA, hook, line and sinker. She quit drinking (actually,just prior to joining AA) and she is still not drinking. However, she is almost evangelical in her adherence to AA dogma. We were celibate about 6 months after joining AA. We talked and it was attributed to some physical gastrointestinal issues she was suffering from (which I bought). I told her I loved her and did not want her to feel any embarrassment and assured her it was her that I loved and we would cope with the problem.
About the same time, more and more of the AA speak was creeping into her discussions. She "prayed" about everything, she had turned her life over to God and he would lead her down the right path. We discussed this too, as we were both raised Catholic and "free will" was high on the list. I told her, if turning her life over to God was true, what was our purpose? We could just do anything we wanted and claim that God put us in that spot by design. What I didn't realize was that at this point she was so far into the AA craziness, that the God she was talking to was through "her AA family" and the big book of that scoundrel Bill W.
I need any words of inspiration or guidance any of you may have. I need to know that the light at the end of this tunnel is not going to be another train. Also, I am deluded myself to think that she will ever have an epiphany and realize what a wreck AA has created (she was told by her son to stay away for a while to get her act together, that she should be ashamed of what she had done, her response was that she would stay here near her support)