My Faithlessness: The atheist way through AA

Submitted by dave on Wed, 01/23/2013 - 21:39

http://religion.blogs.cnn.com/2011/08/28/my-take-an-atheist-at-aa/

My Faithlessness: The atheist way through AA

Editor's note: Marya Hornbacher's latest book, "Waiting: A Nonbeliever’s Higher Power," explores what spirituality can mean to the recovering person who does not believe in God.

By Marya Hornbacher, Special to CNN

(CNN) - Kicked back with his boots on the table at the head of the smoke-dense room, the meeting's leader banged his fist and bellowed, “By the grace of this program and the blood of Jesus Christ, I’m sober today!”

I blinked.

This was not an auspicious beginning for the project of getting my vaguely atheistic, very alcoholic self off the sauce.

I wondered if perhaps I’d wandered into the wrong room. I thought maybe I’d wound up in Alcoholics Anonymous for crown-of-thorn Christians, and in the next room might find AA for lapsed Catholics, and downstairs a group for AA Hare Krishnas and one for AA Ukrainian Jews.

But a decade later, I’ve become aware that 12-step programs are home to people from every religion, denomination, sect, cult, political tilt, gender identity, sexual preference, economic strata, racial and ethnic background, believers in gun rights and abortion rights and the right to home schooling, drinkers of coffee and tea, whiskey and mouthwash, people who sleep on their sides or their stomachs or sidewalks.

Anyone who cares to sober up, in other words, can give it a shot the 12-step way. The official preamble Alcoholics Anonymous states: "The only requirement for AA membership is a desire to stop drinking.”

And millions of people want that and find a way to do it in this program. I’m one of them. I was, not to put too fine a point on it, a raging drunk. Now I’m not.

It wasn’t magic; it was brutally hard work to get from point A to B. I do believe I’d be dead without the help of the people and the structure of the steps in AA.

But I don’t believe in God.

And this can be something of a sticking point when you’re sitting in a meeting room, desperate for almost any route out of hell, and someone cites “the blood of Jesus” as the only way to go. Or when you realize that six of AA's 12 steps explicitly refer to God, a Higher Power or He.

But this shouldn't be a dealbreaker. I’m going to make a lot of old-style AA’s cranky with this, but it’s perfectly possible to sober up sans belief in God.

At first that wasn’t clear to me. It’s unclear to most people because AA has a reputation as a cult, a religion unto itself, a bunch of blathering self-helpers, a herd of lemmings or morons, and it isn’t those things, either. It’s a pretty straightforward series of steps, based on spiritual principles, that helps people clean up their lives in a whole lot of ways.

But if you are of an atheistic or strongly agnostic mindset, chances are you’ll walk into a meeting, see the steps hanging on the wall and want to scream, laugh or walk back out.

I tried another tack: I made a valiant attempt to believe. I figured a) these people were funny, kind, and not plastered; b) they believed that some kind of higher power had helped them get sober; c) they knew something I did not.

So I did research. I read every word of AA literature I could find. I read up on the history of half a dozen important religions and a wide variety of frou-frou nonsense. I earnestly discussed my lack of belief with priests, rabbis, fanatics and my father.

People told me their stories — of God, the divine, the power of love, an intelligent creator. Something that made all this. Some origin, some end.

I told them I believed in math. Chaos, I said. Infinity. That sort of thing.

They looked at me in despair.

And not infrequently, they said, “So you think you’re the biggest, most important thing in the universe?”

On the contrary. I think I am among the smallest. Cosmically speaking, I barely exist.

Like anything else, I came into being by the chance, consist mostly of water, am composed of cells that can be reduced and reduced, down to the quarks and leptons and so forth, that make up matter and force. If you broke down all matter, the atom or my body, you’d arrive at the same thing: what scientists call one strange quark, with its half-integer spin.

And I find that not only fascinating but wondrous, awe-inspiring and humbling.

I believe that the most important spiritual principle of AA is humility. The recognition that we are flawed, that we can and must change and that our purpose not only in sobriety but in life is to be of service to others.

I believe that I exist at random, but I do not exist alone; and that as long as my quarks cohere, my entire function on this hurtling planet is to give what I can to the other extant things.

That keeps me sober. Amen.

The opinions expressed in this commentary are solely those of Marya Hornbacher.

Comments

JR Harris's picture

JR Harris

Wed, 01/23/2013 - 22:13

If you are an Atheist and in Alcoholics Anonymous you're not a "Real Atheist" and have been conned to use the "AA get out of jail card for free" by the evangelists of con men recruited from jails and prisons to talk you into believing into a "higher power." Look at the people conning you into the "it's Spiritual, not Religious" lie of Alcoholics Anonymous, the majority of them came from jail (check the drunkalogs of your AA guru and you will find this is true).

If AA wasn't lying about the "Spiritual, not Religious" aspects of the cult of Alcoholics Anonymous why is it co-founded by an adulterer and wanna bee "Stock broker" named Bill Wilson, who has the minions of the cult make movies about how to talk atheists into praying to the "Higher Power" of Bill Wilson? Why do the minions of Bill Wilsons cult keep bringing it up? Why would the bible of Alcoholics Anonymous commonly called the "Big Book" have a whole chapter called "We Agnostics" dedicated to conning atheists into praying to a "Higher power?" Why was this chapter written by Bill Wilson after he had a "white light" experience where he saw god? This is an old subject and if AA wasn't religious it shouldn't even be brought up. Unless you are lying about the "spiritual, not religious" agenda of the cult of Alcoholics Anonymous. Only people with guilty consciences would bring this up....

Sorry, not buying it. Go to a newcomers meeting and con them instead.

"Tradition 10 - Alcoholics Anonymous has no opinion on outside issues; hence the AA name ought never be drawn into public controversy." Please follow orders from the Interchurch Center if you are an AA member and don't comment.

dave

Thu, 01/24/2013 - 21:12

What is a real athiest?

Pennywise's picture

Pennywise

Fri, 01/25/2013 - 05:45

Good question. The way I see it, a real atheist is one who thinks he can prove God does not exist. However, it is basically impossible to prove that God does not exist using deductive reasoning. Thus, atheists must rely on inductive reasoning, which is a weaker form of logic than deductive reasoning. I, personally, classify myself as a weak atheist/strong agnostic. Mainly, although I can't deductively prove that God does not exist (nor can I deductively prove we are not an alien science experiment), I am like 99.9% sure God does not exist. I reach that conclusion inductively by looking at the world around me and drawing general conclusions based on science.

"Hokey religions and ancient weapons are no match for a good blaster at your side, kid."

JR Harris's picture

JR Harris

Wed, 01/23/2013 - 22:32

The Spiritual, not Religious Game
September 5, 2012 at 7:32 AM
By JR Harris

In Alcoholics Anonymous the evangelists of the Bill Wilson faith, love to play the it's "Spiritual, not Religious" game at any chance they can get. The game was started by Bill Wilson and Dr. Bob on Mothers day, May 12, 1935 at the home of Henrietta Seiberling at the Gate Lodge of the Stan Hywet estate in Akron, Ohio. While we will never really know what exactly was said, or even if the discussion really happened, it has been immortalized in numerous propaganda pieces in literature, theater and film portraying how to talk people into believing that is it Spiritual, not religious when you pray to a "higher power" of your own choosing. For over 77 years, the members of Alcoholics Anonymous have been practicing and coming up with new ways to talk people into praying to a god, that they have renamed as a higher power.

The it's "Spiritual, not Religious" game is a play on words and the making up of new definitions in the special language of the cult of Alcoholics Anonymous. When any subject on AA is discussed, the evangelists will start playing this game when cornered with any type of logic that they realize could be harmful to the tribe of AA members they have joined. Discussion on the success rate, cultist characteristics or any subject will always have the faithful AA member falling back on the it's "Spiritual, not Religious" game, because they know how to play it. AA missionaries have special training trips to theaters and movie houses to see reenactments of the Mothers Day meeting between Dr. Bob and Bill W so that they can learn how to talk people into believing that you are not talking to a god, if you are praying to a higher power that does not talk back to you. (Warning: If they do talk back to you, you will be institutionalized as a lunatic or become the newest messiah of the Bill Wilson faith.)

Has anyone else ever noticed that any discussion about AA usually ends up turning into the it's "Spiritual, not Religious" game?

Source: http://www.expaa.org/apps/forums/topics/show/8059980-the-spiritual-not-r...

"Tradition 10 - Alcoholics Anonymous has no opinion on outside issues; hence the AA name ought never be drawn into public controversy." Please follow orders from the Interchurch Center if you are an AA member and don't comment.

Pennywise's picture

Pennywise

Thu, 01/24/2013 - 04:45

If you twist and distort the AA literature beyond anything that resembles the plain meaning of the text, then yeah, I guess. Good luck trying to maintain any sort of intellectual credibility, though. It's probably easier to just quit drinking.

"Hokey religions and ancient weapons are no match for a good blaster at your side, kid."

YuppieMonkey's picture

YuppieMonkey

Thu, 01/24/2013 - 06:44

It works if you work it. It even works when you don't work it.
It works with a God, and it works without a God.
It works with a sponsor, and it works without a sponsor.
It works if you work all of it, or most of it, or some of it, or none of it!

Amazing. A miracle.

"You'll pay to know what you really think". - J.R. Bob Dobbs

causeandeffect's picture

causeandeffect

Thu, 01/24/2013 - 08:19

“By the grace of this program and the blood of Jesus Christ, I’m sober today!”

Not by the grace of God, "Bye the grace of this program,,,"

Higher power=group of drunks=AA=God=higher power=group of drunks=AA=God

Bill Wilson effectively replaced God with AA and that's blasphemy. Why do so few Christians see that?

Troll free AA critical forum
http://www.expaa.org/

"The good thing about science is that it's true whether or not you believe in it." ~ Neil deGrasse Tyson

dave

Thu, 01/24/2013 - 14:00

She described it as a good thing. Any thoughts on that?

wozza

Thu, 01/24/2013 - 14:19

This article is still falling for the incorrect assumption of WiIliam James that "the only cure for dipsomania is religiomania". This assumptions underlies the ersatz spirituality of AA.

flannigan

Fri, 01/25/2013 - 09:19

An atheist is someone (by definition) who is without (a) a believe in God (theist). "Proof" of God's existence or non-existence is irrelevant to either a theist or an atheist since neither assumption (belief) can be demonstrated by human reasoning, either deductive or inductive; it is merely a belief or non-belief. Assumptions that can not be proven or disproven remain just that-an assumption or belief.

Pennywise's picture

Pennywise

Fri, 01/25/2013 - 10:34

There is no one meaning of what atheism means. A person in a vegetative state might be incapabable of believing anything at all, and hence would be without a belief in God. But that's not really the same as someone who has thought about it and concluded God does not exist. Like I said, there are several ways to define the term.

"Hokey religions and ancient weapons are no match for a good blaster at your side, kid."

dave

Sat, 01/26/2013 - 20:38

Thanks for your comments on atheism.

istj04

Sun, 01/27/2013 - 14:00

The idea that one has to have "humility" and "be of service to others" to remain sober, is classic AA BRAINWASHING, and is proof that this so-called "atheist" (who is an INSULT to the term!) has drank TOO MUCH AA coffee, and is attending TOO MANY of their bullshit, BRAINWASHING MEETINGS!

dave

Sun, 01/27/2013 - 14:10

That's what I was looking for. I doubt that you speak for everyone here, but why would someone that views humility and service to others stay in AA. I think I only know 2 atheists (1 in AA and one not) and they see some value in humility and service to others. Helping someone get back on track if AA screwed them up is also being of service to others.

istj04

Sun, 01/27/2013 - 14:22

I would say that "helping someone get back on track if AA screwed them up" is SAVING THEM, as opposed to "being of service" (a 12 Step cult concept!). AA teaches "subservience" as its methodology for "being of service to others", NOT personal assistance and support!

dave

Sun, 01/27/2013 - 16:30

although I can understand that point of view. I believe AA saves lives too.

Now that I have been sober for 18 years, I almost walk on water in some meetings. I try very hard to dispell the idea that I am any better. To be honest it makes me feel uncomfortable because their act of putting me or someone else with a lot of time on a pedestal is wrong. I am grateful to be sober for as long as I have been, but I still do not feel that it's a long time or that I have anything licked.