There are currently 2 users online.
Was this tragedy enough to end her drinking career ? Any follow up info on her?
Sat, 05/19/2012 - 16:23
Behind trappings of honesty, still deceit and rationalization February 1, 2008
By S. J. Snyder VINE™ VOICE
Format:Hardcover"Face to Face" is Kishline's "co-autobiography" with Sheryl Maloy, the estranged wife and mother to the two people Kishline killed in her DWI accident in 2000.
Unfortunately, beneath what appear to be a number of post-accident improvements in honesty, at least honesty with others, Kishline has plenty of rationalizations, or even self-lies, in this book.
Whether or not one wants to label oneself as "alcoholic," one's behavior as "alcoholic drinking," or use similar terminology, she won't do that, even though she continues to drink regularly, get drunk at times, and even admit that she uses alcohol as an emotional crutch.
Because of that, I want to severely downrate this book.
On the other hand, there was some honesty from her, and plenty of psychological depth and trauma-baring from Sheryl Maloy. So, as a story, I want to uprate it.
But, then, you have Maloy especially with religious beliefs that are naïve at best, if not themselves self-delusional. She claims to remember premonitions about her daughter's death (memory years later can be tricky), without thinking about how many unfulfilled premonitions she has had.
In logic, among the study of fallacies, it's known as the "file drawer fallacy," among other things. Bob Carroll covers it well at The Skeptic's Dictionary, www.skepdic.com.
Kishline is little better in some ways, with a mix of deism/NewAgeism, some Christian beliefs and a generic fatalism.
At bottom line, her story is a great caveat about alcoholism, even if she won't look in her own mirror enough yet. It's also a caveat about how the prison system continues to mistreat people with mental conditions, as noted in detail below, in a synopsis of book highlights:
It's pretty interesting. For 1-2 yrs before the accident, she recognized she was past the "moderation" level, and as people familiar with the story know, told MM members that. She got drunk that particular day to screw up the courage to leave her husband, which she eventually did some time after getting out of prison.
Kishline did attend an occasional SMART meeting before founding MM, as she details in the book. She later, after her admission to MM members, started going to Women for Sobriety as well as going back to AA. Beyond that, she apparently didn't look for other alternatives, such as Lifering or Secular Organizations for Sobriety.
That said, the book has its drama, nowhere more than when Maloy goes to Kishline's prison to tell her in person, "I forgive you."
And, Kishline won't be part of AA, either. In the most surprising item in the book, she says she still drinks regularly and even gets drunk at times. If that's not enough to remind everybody of the tragedy of alcoholism and the powerful hold of alcohol, maybe her prison and post-prison story is.
She was sentenced to 4.5 years; she served 3 years inside and the rest on a variety of outside ways, such as work-release jobs, halfway house rehab counseling, etc. As an ex-con, namely an ex-felon, she said she had trouble finding decent jobs at times, and wound up moving in with her mom and her mom's new husband for a while, at the age of 45.
So, too, the power of alcohol, but also the power to move beyond it, is reflected in the story that Kishline's two sisters are both former alcoholic-level drinkers, though both sober now -- one through AA and one on her own.
Also some other interesting background. Maloy's dad had a drunk-driving one-car accident on the autobahn in Germany while in the military. Maloy admits she could have headed down Kishline's road, especially with an extended history of physical and emotional abuse from her parents and sexual abuse from a childhood friend of her dad's.
Finally, the book, from Kishline's side, shows how screwed up the American prison system is in dealing with people with mental health problems. Despite Kishline clearly having anxiety and depression problems, her early parole work release required her to be medication free, part of why she eventually relapsed from it.
And, finally finally, I'm afraid some reviewers, despite the fact Kishline's one sister got sober without outside help, and there are groups like SMART, WFS, SOS and LSR, will use Kishline's continued denial to be, well, "Big Book Thumpers." You know who you are.
"If I forget who I am, I am myself. If I remember who I am, I am you."
Sat, 05/19/2012 - 16:26
Sat, 05/19/2012 - 17:18
Thanks Gigi ....... Very interesting, you would have thought that tragedy might have straightened her up.
Sat, 05/19/2012 - 17:31
If I had the blood of two innocent people on my hands, I wouldn't be able to stay sober either.
Sun, 05/20/2012 - 11:30
Maybe as an amends to them, it could be a goal. She at least agrees that she has lost her privilege to drive (not necessarily legally, but self imposed) but I wonder if that is in response too to the fact that she still drinks.
I have no idea why this woman "created" a plan at all, what her qualifications were, what "evidence" there was that it worked... All she did was write down the same things that people do while figuring out if htey have a problem with alcohol. If I could have 9 drinks a week and be done with it, I wouldn't have even looked into her program.
Remember Christopher Stevens when you vote.
Tue, 05/22/2012 - 10:53
^^Why not, with 9 drinks you could get drunk once and tipsy once.