How'd I do it?

Submitted by aasux on Tue, 06/12/2012 - 09:52

Well, it's officially been a little over a year since I last set foot in a meeting. I am coerced by my governing body to go, and according to my log sheet I am at a meeting now. I have no issues with this white lie I tell because I am, ironically, happier than I've ever been in life, sober, and productive and working. All the while without the aa cult telling me I was a dry drunk or about to relapse. over 100 drug screens later, I remain drug free and without any desire to return to my addiction. I consider myself a person, not an addict. I am a former addict. All aa did was show me the way I DIDN'T want to do it. I didn't want to go to endless, redundant meetings. I didn't want to hear the Gawd talk and how their higher power let em slip but it's okay cause they keep coming back. I didn't want to hear the same drunkalogs and pity stories. I didn't want to see the same losers stuck in the rut of aa with no purpose or direction, only a sick need to associate with other brainwashed inmates. I am so glad I walked out May 28th, 2011 forever. I know I will stay sober, regardless of drug tests. I want to be sober, it's a lot easier and profitable and my family is the most important thing in my life, not drugs. Once I figured that simple concept out, it was a piece of cake. I am done with aa, and drugs, forever.

Comments

flannigan

Tue, 06/12/2012 - 11:31

Congrats. I can't think of anything more to say.

dorak nob's picture

dorak nob

Tue, 06/12/2012 - 11:37

thats huge and i'm happy for you, especially the part about your family being more important then drugs, have a great life.

gigi

Tue, 06/12/2012 - 14:09

Well done , aasux!

"If I forget who I am, I am myself. If I remember who I am, I am you."

Ironic's picture

Ironic

Tue, 06/12/2012 - 11:51

You must not be a real addict, then!

There. Said it for em.

Congratulations man.

Clara's picture

Clara

Tue, 06/12/2012 - 11:51

God doesn't let you slip, anyway. It's interesting that I can go from one blog where telling one's story is a good thing since it reminds others how it is to be dope sick yetif it is in AA, it gets called a boring drunkolog. There are constructive puproses behind it, although I agree that it can get tedious. I love your message. It is the same one that I found in AA, that your family is more important than the drink and sobriety is truly the softer, gentler way.

Congrats to you, my dear, regardless of how you do it!

Remember Christopher Stevens when you vote.

aasux

Tue, 06/12/2012 - 12:02

I had no problem hearing someone's story...once. I don't care to relive this part of my life daily. I respect my past, but it's time to move on, something the aa crowd never seemed to want to do.

Clara's picture

Clara

Tue, 06/12/2012 - 13:00

I think that is true. As we progress in recovery, we don't need to hear it regularly. I think it is different for the newcomer, though. That 90/90 is just what it is - 90 meetings in 90 days, and it is intended to drive home a few things. For me, the first is never picking up, no matter what. Abstinence is the key, although I hope I don't start Penny again on his "but crab soup isn't abstaining" routine. He's promised to call me out everytime I use the word "abstinent." I used to think I could sit down and have just that one until I bother to remember that I never drank that way, even when I thought I was practicing moderation.

Again, congrats to you no matter how you do it!

Remember Christopher Stevens when you vote.

JR Harris's picture

JR Harris

Tue, 06/12/2012 - 13:09

Clara, you have a disclaimer on your post saying you don't speak for AA, don't use the word "we" when talking about cult infiltration and indoctrination procedures. As for the 90 day indoctrination perkiod recommended by the cult members, it does nothing but brainwash the 12 commandments of the adulterous Bill Wilson and slogans of the cult into the poor unfortunates mind. An Alcoholics Anonymous ritual ceremony is only 60 minutes long, of which 1/3 is taken up in the chanting and praying to Bill Wilson and the ideas he stole to build the cult from other people.

You should be ashamed of yourself.

"Tradition 10 - Alcoholics Anonymous has no opinion on outside issues; hence the AA name ought never be drawn into public controversy." Please follow orders from the Interchurch Center if you are an AA member and don't comment.

Pennywise's picture

Pennywise

Tue, 06/12/2012 - 13:59

I hope I don't start Penny again on his "but crab soup isn't abstaining" routine.

You rang?

One can eat crab soup and still be abstinent. This is because alcohol is not a necessary ingredient in crab soup, as is demonstrated by the fact that you have to specifically request it when it does not come standard. One cannot order a special side of fortified wine to consume with crab soup and still be abstinent.

"Hokey religions and ancient weapons are no match for a good blaster at your side, kid."

gigi

Tue, 06/12/2012 - 13:59

hahahahaha!

"If I forget who I am, I am myself. If I remember who I am, I am you."

Trisha K.'s picture

Trisha K.

Tue, 06/12/2012 - 14:14

Please, no crosstalk concerning "Crab Soup" or "Abstinence".
Shhhhhhhhh!!!!!

“The more I traveled the more I realized that fear makes strangers of people who should be friends.”
Shirley MacLaine

Pennywise's picture

Pennywise

Tue, 06/12/2012 - 14:29

She started it.

"Hokey religions and ancient weapons are no match for a good blaster at your side, kid."

Clara's picture

Clara

Tue, 06/12/2012 - 14:51

LOL! I can't let Danny and Dorak down, doncha know!

Don't let anyone be convinced that with sobriety, one is automaticaly relegated to those places that serve food in plastic containers! And you are still wrong! In Annapolis, you would have been hung for your assertions! It's crab treason!

Remember Christopher Stevens when you vote.

Pennywise's picture

Pennywise

Tue, 06/12/2012 - 16:25

"LOL! I can't let Danny and Dorak down, doncha know!"

Who's Danny?

Anyway, it is your alcoholic mind fooling you that the only places that don't serve booze in all the dishes are those places where the food is served in plastic containers. Case in point, the restaurant where you had to specially order the booze as a side because the alcohol free version wasn't good enough for you.

"Hokey religions and ancient weapons are no match for a good blaster at your side, kid."

Clara's picture

Clara

Tue, 06/12/2012 - 18:20

DanDammitt, who groans at the mention of Crap Bisque. Yeah, Mr. Fish isn't the most of sophisticated spots.

Okay, I don't want all of those AA lurking around to think that just because you join AA, you have to be relegated to eating in fine establishments that give you plastic toys with your fries.

Remember Christopher Stevens when you vote.

Pennywise's picture

Pennywise

Tue, 06/12/2012 - 18:33

I know you are trolling me, but what the heck:

If a person has a peanut allergy, would it be OK to have a Peanut Buster Parfait at Dairy Queen? Say a newcomer reads your post and thinks it's OK to put some wine in her soup. All of a sudden the allergy of the body kicks in and the phenomena of craving spirals out of control. She then goes on a bender and a few days later she takes out a minivan full of kids in a drunken driving accident. Blood and guts are spilled all over the highway, all because she thought she could handle a little taste, just like you. Could you live with that?

"Hokey religions and ancient weapons are no match for a good blaster at your side, kid."

Trisha K.'s picture

Trisha K.

Tue, 06/12/2012 - 18:46

JR, just gave me a cross talk from hell for derailing and what do you do, duh...the same thing?
Come on, I want you to read How it Works, slowly, emphasizing the important parts.

“The more I traveled the more I realized that fear makes strangers of people who should be friends.”
Shirley MacLaine

Pennywise's picture

Pennywise

Tue, 06/12/2012 - 18:51

I'll read How it Works after Clara has read and properly summarized (to prove she read it) The Doctor's Opinion.

"Hokey religions and ancient weapons are no match for a good blaster at your side, kid."

Clara's picture

Clara

Tue, 06/12/2012 - 19:08

That is the Dr. Opinion. Did you ask if it was Clara's? I personally haven't had cravings as the result of eating beer steamed hotdogs at Lum's. But if you do, stay away from it!

Remember Christopher Stevens when you vote.

Trisha K.'s picture

Trisha K.

Tue, 06/12/2012 - 20:01

Clara, you have to be talking about Maryland? I was born in southern Maryland, The Patuxent Naval Air Station, which is based in Lexington Park. I was south just enough to be called a rebel yeller.
Chang'in subjects...
Clara, it is obnoxious at times to be labeled a robot, that we can't think for ourselves and act according to our beliefs. I mean this is what most here are screaming about, having freedom but they won't let us have it.
Penny is dictating what you can belief and what you can't according to his AA program. I just don't believe in Penny's way and never have.

“The more I traveled the more I realized that fear makes strangers of people who should be friends.”
Shirley MacLaine

Clara's picture

Clara

Tue, 06/12/2012 - 20:48

The Bay is beautiful, but, no, Lum's is where we used to get steamed hotdogs in Omaha, Nebreska, but they were all over at one time. We used to get crabs steamed in beer in MD.

Remember Christopher Stevens when you vote.

Persephone In Exile's picture

Persephone In Exile

Tue, 06/12/2012 - 19:27

Well Trisha, you are going to get a smack for using 12 step terminology on the OPF. I've kept my distance from this place for a while, but it isn't exactly heartwarming to stop back in and see someone referring to forum talk here as "crosstalk". Isn't there an aa forum somewhere (or about 50) that you could head over to to throw that sort of talk around?

http://badrecovery.blogspot.com/

Trisha K.'s picture

Trisha K.

Tue, 06/12/2012 - 19:49

Things got pretty serious the last couple of days around here. I wanted to kid around a little with everyone instead of always being so tense. I am sure, I make some others feel uncomfortable too.
PIE, I honestly forgot how much I liked coming here for the longest time just reading the posts. I never used to post here. I started posting when I witnessed Clara and becket getting verbally attacked and it seems the fight hasn't stopped since.
Well after what has gone on here in the last month climaxing with this Avo incident, I am for the first time analyzing whether it is healthy to be here at all.
This site is for all and the hateful posts should stop immediately. That also means calling me Danny, which everyone knows has very disgusting connotations. Since I am not him, I don't like it at all.
I know all of us on both sides can have an intelligent thoughtful dialog. I think people have a wrong idea about what this site is. IMO, it is a site for conversation from all points of view, debate is encouraged and no one is better.
This is what I got from Orange anyway.
I know I went off on a tangent but I just wanted to finally get this off my chest, so to speak.

“The more I traveled the more I realized that fear makes strangers of people who should be friends.”
Shirley MacLaine

Persephone In Exile's picture

Persephone In Exile

Tue, 06/12/2012 - 19:54

Well, I wasn't calling you Danny (and know very little about him still), Trisha. Your opening salvos to me on this site weren't exactly on the friendly side of things, however. I do seem to remember you calling me a liar and a fraud from the very start of the unpleasantness you spoke of just now, so I hardly think I could've been expected to be all sunshine and daisies with you. No offense.

http://badrecovery.blogspot.com/

Trisha K.'s picture

Trisha K.

Tue, 06/12/2012 - 20:17

I did come out of the gate swinging. Like I said, "I was defending two other women" who were IMO being abused by several men here. It was on after that and I honesty don't remember who said what after a while.
But I'll tell you, if truth be told I did enjoy reading your posts. I am an opiate abuser so I felt a kindred spirit a bit. I haven't used in years and by the time I came to AA I was just drinking then. But drinking enormous amounts, to much for a petite skinny girl like me.
I have a lot to learn still and I would appreciate if we could just leave this shit talking alone for awhile. Lets just move on, not forget or forgive right now but just move in another direction.
We all have proven we can fight, some more then others. I am probably in the "more" column but if we know these things about each other why do we agitate these flaws in each other. Just so Orange can see us make asses of ourselves.
I truly do not want to fight anymore and at some point if it doesn't end we will not be here anyway, just how much more will Orange put up with anyway. I am talking about the vicious comments laid on one another.
I am ready. Nice to see you, btw.

“The more I traveled the more I realized that fear makes strangers of people who should be friends.”
Shirley MacLaine

Anthro

Wed, 06/13/2012 - 21:09

"But drinking enormous amounts, to much for a petite skinny girl like me."

Just curious....any particular reason you enjoy referring to this? We can see from the photo you are female and attractive....unless, you really aren't. Unless you're a guy named Danny.....LOLOL!!

Anthro

Gunthar2000's picture

Gunthar2000

Tue, 06/12/2012 - 19:57

Danny

AA is a religious cult dressed up to look like a treatment for alcoholism.

Gunthar2000

http://www.expaa.org/

Clara's picture

Clara

Wed, 06/13/2012 - 09:36

Instead of trying to control people, why not just let peope write as they will?

Remember Christopher Stevens when you vote.

Clara's picture

Clara

Tue, 06/12/2012 - 19:03

Actually, I wasn't. I was giving a nod to their humor.

As usual, we use worst case scenarios around here. I don't think the Tacoma Parkway incident included someone eating crab bisque with a condiment splash of sherry in it. My culinary choices have never triggered a craving. Her BAC was off the charts and she was a reefer head, too.

I can live with it, Penny. I don't think that listerine has been sued when someone uses their product that also lays claim to the allergy.

Remember Christopher Stevens when you vote.

gigi

Tue, 06/12/2012 - 18:32

That's quite a public service, Clara. All those lurking around AA needn't worry about being converted into a weird religion or being programmed to regurgitate nonsensical slogans or being taught to believe that they are powerless wads of diseased, ego driven, Godless rejects: they really need to worry that they may never be able to eat chocolate fondue with a proper fork again. Excellent.

"If I forget who I am, I am myself. If I remember who I am, I am you."

Pennywise's picture

Pennywise

Tue, 06/12/2012 - 18:35

Cunning, baffling, POWERFUL...

"Hokey religions and ancient weapons are no match for a good blaster at your side, kid."

Clara's picture

Clara

Tue, 06/12/2012 - 19:06

Ah, chocolate fondue... I make the best and it is astonishingly good with fresh pineapple. Of course, you can use a skewer if you have questions about which fork to use. I think the recipe is on the net. Coconut Cream Chocolate Fondue.

Life isn't over just because you stop drinking.

Remember Christopher Stevens when you vote.

gigi

Wed, 06/13/2012 - 17:34

I just found this funny little joke illustrating illogical reasoning and it reminded me of Clara.

An Irishman walks into a Dublin bar, orders three pints of Guiness, and drinks them down, taking a sip from one, then the next, until they're gone. He then orders three more. The bartender says, "You know, they'd be less likely to go flat if you bought them one at a time."
The man says, "Yeah, I know, but I have two brothers, one in the States, one in Australia. When we all went our separate ways, we promised each other that we'd drink this way in memory of the days when we all drank together. Each of these is for my brothers and the third is for me.
The bartender is touched, and says, "What a great custom!"
The Irishman becomes a regular in the bar and always orders the same way.
One day he comes in and orders two pints. The other regulars notice, and a silence falls over the bar. When he comes to the bar for his second round, the bartender says, "Please accept my condolences, pal."
The Irishman says, "Oh no, everyone's fine. I just joined the Mormon Church, and I had to quit drinking."

In other words, self-serving logic can get you served.

"If I forget who I am, I am myself. If I remember who I am, I am you."

aasux

Wed, 06/13/2012 - 13:47

all the 90 /90 did for me was make me realize I was never going back. I made it to around 70. What a joke.
But I do appreciate you recognizing that sobriety can be had in other ways.

Trisha K.'s picture

Trisha K.

Tue, 06/12/2012 - 12:15

then we see why the topics and conversations seem to go on and on. The abundance of members under a year is usually majority of the meeting, then the 9-6-3 mons. to the new comers. These members usually dominate most of the sharing during a meeting. Their stories are pretty much all the same. This is why I will not go to such a meeting. IMO nothing is accomplished.
I enjoy smaller get togethers where everyone involved get a chance to share, listen and help each other. Most of the meetings (when I do attend) are at a friends house or a coffe shop e t...Maybe 4-5 of us will get together.

“The more I traveled the more I realized that fear makes strangers of people who should be friends.”
Shirley MacLaine

gigi

Tue, 06/12/2012 - 14:05

Well if we undertsand what is going on in an AA meeting,

"then we see why the topics and conversations seem to go on and on. The abundance of members under a year is usually majority of the meeting, then the 9-6-3 mons. to the new comers. These members usually dominate most of the sharing during a meeting. "

That's bull. The majority of the meeting is dominated by folks with multiple years sober sharing the same old bullshit slogans and tired drunkalogues. There are very few newcomers in most meetings and they certainly don't dominate.

"If I forget who I am, I am myself. If I remember who I am, I am you."

becket's picture

becket

Tue, 06/12/2012 - 16:40

How do you account for such rage over the extreme numbers of coercees, then?

“The essence of the independent mind lies not in what it thinks, but in how it thinks.”
― Christopher Hitchens, Letters to a Young Contrarian

gigi

Tue, 06/12/2012 - 18:24

"How do you account for such rage over the extreme numbers of coercees, then?"

I don't. I was responding to a statement that said that the majority of what is said/shared in a meeting comes from newcomers and that meetings are dominated by people with under a year in the program. I have found absolutely the opposite to be true. Most of the meetings that I regularly attended were dominated by people who had "a few 24 hours." Most of the dominating was done by people with 5, 10, 20 years of AA sobriety. The newcomers, whether coerced or not, were generally not a huge part of the conversation at large.

"If I forget who I am, I am myself. If I remember who I am, I am you."

becket's picture

becket

Tue, 06/12/2012 - 18:50

The way this forum reads, every AA meeting everywhere is dominated by criminal coercees who are just waiting to pounce on nubile young beer-drinking country girls or speculating on a piece of tail from any present worldly, together recovering woman - or anything in between. If they're not doing that they're running scams or dealing in the parking lot.

“The essence of the independent mind lies not in what it thinks, but in how it thinks.”
― Christopher Hitchens, Letters to a Young Contrarian

gigi

Tue, 06/12/2012 - 19:00

The way this forum reads is the way the forum reads. I prefer my posts be taken as my posts and not automatically lumped with any and all posts on the OPF. I'll gladly stand behind what I write but I don't take responsibility for what everyone else posts. Sometimes I agree, sometimes I don't.

"If I forget who I am, I am myself. If I remember who I am, I am you."

becket's picture

becket

Tue, 06/12/2012 - 19:35

Fair enough.

“The essence of the independent mind lies not in what it thinks, but in how it thinks.”
― Christopher Hitchens, Letters to a Young Contrarian

Trisha K.'s picture

Trisha K.

Tue, 06/12/2012 - 14:10

Why am I bullshitting, gigi. I am talking about my experiences. You can have yours. I am sorry I didn't put "I" in front of my sentences.
I am still going to stand by my statement though, because I know from traveling around this country, the ratio of "time in" per person is close to what I described.

“The more I traveled the more I realized that fear makes strangers of people who should be friends.”
Shirley MacLaine

JR Harris's picture

JR Harris

Tue, 06/12/2012 - 14:18

The fake triennial surveys from AA coven control at the Interchurch Center don't even prove those numbers. Remember only 5% of the prospects AA tries to capture fall into the trap, 95% of those newcomers escape from the cult of Alcoholics Anonymous.

Next thing you know you will be tying to explain that you are a "converted atheist" with a higher power you pray to.......

"Tradition 10 - Alcoholics Anonymous has no opinion on outside issues; hence the AA name ought never be drawn into public controversy." Please follow orders from the Interchurch Center if you are an AA member and don't comment.

Trisha K.'s picture

Trisha K.

Tue, 06/12/2012 - 14:40

But what the heck I'll bite on this one. What is your point JR?

“The more I traveled the more I realized that fear makes strangers of people who should be friends.”
Shirley MacLaine

becket's picture

becket

Tue, 06/12/2012 - 16:49

Then why advocate for the 5%? Why even focus on them at all, as if you have some responsibility to save them from themselves or from the boogieman? Why not support those who have left and need not even address it anymore?

Oh, I know: because then there would be no forum. I get it.

“The essence of the independent mind lies not in what it thinks, but in how it thinks.”
― Christopher Hitchens, Letters to a Young Contrarian

disclosure

Tue, 06/12/2012 - 14:46

Yes, AA sux for some so they need to find other ways to solve their consumption related problems. Congratulations AASUX, and congratulations internet for making alternatives plainly available to all. Thanks internet for exposing bad practices in AA so that it can SUX-LESS than before the playing field was level and it was the only friggin game in town.
On a brighter note, I do not think AAsux has a make believe disease. I think AAsux overcame addictive behavior on AAsux own. AAsux; imagine how much time AA would have SUXD from your family time had you remained hostage to the meetings. Best part of all AAsux, AA is still there if you decide you can't handle it on your own. They say the only requirement for membership is the desire to stop; sounds to me from the troll posts that they would have you believe that you would need to have a make believe disease to be a member. Bait and switch AAsux, bait and switch!
AAsux is my HERO!

Clara's picture

Clara

Tue, 06/12/2012 - 14:52

Nope, I would disagree with this. If you know that booze is kicking your ass and you want change, c'mon! All you need is a desire to stop drinking.

Remember Christopher Stevens when you vote.

aasux

Wed, 06/13/2012 - 13:52

I am not an alcoholic. I was an opiate addict. I am not now. I know if I CHOSE to be, I could resume that lifestyle in an instant. I don't ever want to be that low again (locked in a psych facility with a schizophrenic roommate). I learned, I quit. that's simple. Per aa dogma, I should be incarcerated, institutionalized, or dead now. I'm happily employed and with family. Disease? No way. Addiction is an imprint on the brain that can be removed, but has a very sharp memory. This describes innate behavior, not disease. I chose drugs, and addiction followed. If I get cancer, it's not a choice, that is a disease.

Trisha K.'s picture

Trisha K.

Tue, 06/12/2012 - 15:07

it is so over the top and you are impressing your judgments on others that are vulnerable. You think you are helping but I question if you really are. It seems to me all you are doing is trying to mold another automaton to spout off the same propaganda you do.
Just because someone comes on here and talks of problems he has had with AA doesn't mean he is a promising zealot (extremist) like yourself

“The more I traveled the more I realized that fear makes strangers of people who should be friends.”
Shirley MacLaine

Orange's picture

Orange

Tue, 06/12/2012 - 15:44

Ain't freedom wonderful?

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