My real issue with AA - or issues

Kate asks: "How much TIME (trademarked) do you have?" Usual answer: "I'm upside down. What about it?"

A big issue is the denial issue. You try to explain to your sponsor or to a member how you feel about anything & if your feelings do not met the person's or AA's agenda, you are in denial. Being told over & over & over that how you feel is wrong. How can someone else tell you how you are feeling is wrong? Being told over & over that what you think or feel is wrong, even about the most personal issues & issues which have nothing to do with addiction. This is so unhealthy. My sponsor nitpicked & nagged incessantly & the stuff said was absurd, I kind of felt that then, there was a nagging doubt, but she's wrong, but I felt obligated to listen to her. Also she knew everything about any & all day to day issues. Within a short period of time my head was mushy, no matter what I said I felt or thought she would correct me & tell me I was wrong. My head was mushy to begin with & just became mushier. Also I was told some really seriously dumb ass advise & it wasn't long before I simply became a sycophant & agreed with whatever she said, she was exhausting & I felt exhausted, not like I was healthy or healing.

I agree with what you say Kate but feel that AA has changed over time and that the dogma has taken over. People are going to it who are very young or who do not have areal problem and tend to dilute the meetings. They are not the people who tend to help those who are homeless or living in poverty. They are just there for a bit of a social event and it is almost trendy to say you have been to rehab in some circles. Some AA meetings have lost sight of what they are there for and are lightweight. I remember some homeless person walking out of a meeting after somebody was sharing hysterically about her Porsche being reposessed. Guess who got the most sympathy and attention in that meeting! There was a time when only hardcore drunks went and the steps etc were secondary to helping people. They did not have the steps and traditions on scrolls and the sharing was not all about god and step 4. Because of the more cult like members this has changed.

About sobriety time being no one's business, this is true. It's also over-rated. I'm not just saying this because I was a queen "relapser" (I wasn't able to get fully clean by XA standards) . I think it's all relative with the most important aspect being happiness. I wasn't happy either, but if I'd of found a stepper that I thought was generally happy that's who would have gotten my attention. Some regulars claimed to be completely sober but they were miserable. One day sobbing about how difficult life was, how they struggled picking them up and putting them down, but “I’m still here, clean and serene”. “I’ll keep comin”, is how they closed. I always wondered when it was going to change, when one day I’d actually learn stuff. But the very next day was a lecture by the same person, but this time complaining about a sponsee that wouldn’t live life on life’s terms (her terms?). After all, it was simple if you “worked it”.

Maybe I was in the wrong place if I was looking for happiness. Ya know? It made no sense then and makes none now if being clean meant miserable.

AA is a religious cult with strange and contradictory dogma that is ineffective in helping addicted people overcome their addiction. AA does not work any better than no treatment. Faith-healing has never been a valid treatment of a real problem/condition/disease.

It was really weird when I hit those two meetings a few months back, because all of these little things were suddenly thrown back into the reality of the moment. When asked to introduce myself, I was fine saying my name, but wouldn't say, "I'm an addict". Even if I still considered myself to be, I would still be uncomfortable with that self-identification. Same with the clean time. I gave (to a few who remembered me from the old times) the month and year I stopped using, and let them tally it up themselves. I just have no interest in keeping track of that kind of thing. It neither offends me or doesn't, it just doesn't interest me.

Any personal discussion followed two distinct tracks, too. Where the newcomers/newer members were concerned, I was absolutely NOT an addict. Not a "real addict". By their reasoning, no real addict could change to the point where they no longer did much of anything "like an addict" (one woman applied this to food, shopping, smoking, etc.) A few were more willing to listen to the hope I was handing out, those past the rigors of detox however seemed to think it impossible that there was anything beyond the rooms in terms of sobriety, which was sad. I was there for the former category though, not anyone else.

The other track, naturally, was by the semi-oldtimers, and their obsession in talking to me was to keep reminding me of how bad off I had been. That was the entirety of it, actually. I had been bad off and chronically relapsing, and was in denial then and must still be now. It didn't matter that I wasn't even ingesting caffeine or nicotine, that I do a great many things that have nothing to do with either being miserable, escapism or finding another way to destroy myself. Just a straight up attempt to take me down as many pegs as they could. Considering the sources, that really didn't have much of an effect on me, so that's fine. It did say an awful lot about them, though.

Which is why I was there in the first place, because I knew that that's exactly what the newcomers were being fed. It was weird to have it all up in my face again though, but if I'm going to help anyone out, I am going to have to be around this stuff at least occasionally.

being directed by the retarded.

But they are on a mission from god.

D.N.
seriously fucked up! some dumb ass desperately needing to control your words, mind, etc. Also that dumb ass didn't take into consideration how many people aren't even listening due to be sentenced to the meeting & not available for the mind fuck, just serving their time.

a half a brain cell prevented me from checking my brain at the door, where else do you hear such nonsense