New Discussion on TheFix - Why I Prefer Male Sponsors

JR Harris's picture
Submitted by JR Harris on Sun, 05/13/2012 - 21:46


By Amy Dresner

It’s recommended that the women stick with the women and the men stick with the men. But I’d rather do it with a guy.

When I say that I like male sponsors better than female ones, people assume that means I don’t like women. It doesn’t. I have plenty of close women friends. I just prefer not to be sponsored by them.

Read more: http://www.thefix.com/content/why-i-prefer-male-sponsors-60040

So far, no comments on TheFix to this article......

Comments

JR Harris's picture

JR Harris

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 21:54

Hint: Notice the ring on the young ladies finger....

"Tradition 10 - Alcoholics Anonymous has no opinion on outside issues; hence the AA name ought never be drawn into public controversy." Please follow orders from the Interchurch Center if you are an AA member and don't comment.

avogadno's picture

avogadno

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 22:09

JR, it's not on the right finger to represent marriage.

Pro Empowerment!
Truth about AA: http://orange-papers.org/menu1.html
Expose AA: http://www.expaa.org/

JR Harris's picture

JR Harris

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 22:13

Nice rock though.... What do you think of the article?

"Tradition 10 - Alcoholics Anonymous has no opinion on outside issues; hence the AA name ought never be drawn into public controversy." Please follow orders from the Interchurch Center if you are an AA member and don't comment.

Persephone In Exile's picture

Persephone In Exile

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 22:19

This was the one article I didn't even bother with tonight....lol....I'll have to head back over there now, JR.

http://badrecovery.blogspot.com/

JR Harris's picture

JR Harris

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 22:24

I can see the Pacific Group making a lot of copies of this article for required reading for newcomers......

Amy Dresner is a sober comedian who liberally pulls material from her depressive illness and drug addiction. She performs all over Los Angeles and is also on a national recovery tour called "We Are Not Saints." She also wrote about sex and dating in sobriety, among other topics, for The Fix.

Her National Recovery Tour Website: http://wearenotsaints.net/

"Tradition 10 - Alcoholics Anonymous has no opinion on outside issues; hence the AA name ought never be drawn into public controversy." Please follow orders from the Interchurch Center if you are an AA member and don't comment.

massive's picture

massive

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 22:47

This stuff makes me sick !!! Im so tired of it!!!

Massive

JR Harris's picture

JR Harris

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 23:02

The troupe is on tour, just a little about the three of them:

FELON O’ REILLY / www.felonoreilly.com
"FELON O’REILLY’S record is impressive to say the least. 73 arrests, 7 incarcerations, 17 rehabs and more than a decade behind bars, Felon is now clean and sober, a Motivational Speaker, Standup Comic and an Author. His book “Laughing on the Inside: The Life and Crimes of Felon O’ Reilly” is a staple in treatment centers and prison libraries. "

IAN HARVIE / www.ianharvie.com
IAN HARVIE was born a girl and is now a man, though you could never tell. To hear him recount the stories of his life trapped inside a body he was at serious odds with and the long tumultuous voyage to change it, is eye opening to say the least. His honesty and vulnerability are breathtaking but he doesn’t stop there, he’s also hilarious.

AMY DRESNER / www.amydresner.com
AMY DRESNER, a Jew and recovering meth addict and Comic was laying it out on stage at the Downtown Comedy Club in Los Angeles when Ian and Felon found her. The trio not only became fast friends it was a moment of clarity for all three of them. They had found the laugh riot girl who would join them in their cross-country tour.

Read more: http://wearenotsaints.net/the-comics/

"Tradition 10 - Alcoholics Anonymous has no opinion on outside issues; hence the AA name ought never be drawn into public controversy." Please follow orders from the Interchurch Center if you are an AA member and don't comment.

Clara's picture

Clara

Mon, 05/14/2012 - 08:53

Well, what about this "stuff" does that, Massive? Do you think that perhaps Lisa could have had somethin with her blog about personal accountability To you, what does it sound like this woman is looking for?

Remember Christopher Stevens when you vote.

JR Harris's picture

JR Harris

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 22:29

A very poignant quote from her other article on TheFix:

I could easily branch off`into horror stories about how I was 13th stepped by program quasi-gurus who had double-digit sobriety while I was just stringing days together. I am still envious of the young newcomer girls who are pulled aside by other women and warned about the predatory old timers who wait in anticipation for the next wave of fresh meat. That was never me. I became best friends with another hot newcomer girl and together we went through the 13th step mill, at times sharing some of the same old timers. I think I hooked up with five different people within my first four months, and that’s not counting the occasional rendezvous with an old using buddy.

Read more: http://www.thefix.com/content/sex-and-dating-aa-10004

"Tradition 10 - Alcoholics Anonymous has no opinion on outside issues; hence the AA name ought never be drawn into public controversy." Please follow orders from the Interchurch Center if you are an AA member and don't comment.

avogadno's picture

avogadno

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 22:33

I think it is dangerous practice. Regardless of what the article says, other girls may think it's OK and seek a male sponsor only to get harmed. The predators love this piece.

There is a problem in a lot of NA groups. There are not near enough females to sponsor the women. I've know men to point this out and make themselves available to sponsor women, and take advantage of them. 13 stepping is rampant in the NA fellowship around here.

Pro Empowerment!
Truth about AA: http://orange-papers.org/menu1.html
Expose AA: http://www.expaa.org/

JR Harris's picture

JR Harris

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 22:42

She wrote "Sex and Dating in Sobriety" three months ago. She is definitely sending mixed signals with this article. In the other articles, she actually states what everyone claims doesn't happen in AA, or at least in their group. Look at the comments on her other article agreeing with the problem of 13 Stepping by older gurus.

http://www.thefix.com/content/sex-and-dating-aa-10004

"Tradition 10 - Alcoholics Anonymous has no opinion on outside issues; hence the AA name ought never be drawn into public controversy." Please follow orders from the Interchurch Center if you are an AA member and don't comment.

massive's picture

massive

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 23:23

JR I read her post on the fix.
BORING!!!!!!! I starting falling asleep. Thanks for posting.

Massive

Persephone In Exile's picture

Persephone In Exile

Sun, 05/13/2012 - 23:56

I actually wanted a male sponsor myself. Not for the drawn-out "let me tell you how tortured I am" sort of reasons this woman writes about, I just felt more comfortable that way. That was a sticking point for a long time for me in xA. I don't get the gender segregation, but maybe that's just me.

http://badrecovery.blogspot.com/

avogadno's picture

avogadno

Mon, 05/14/2012 - 09:03

Perse, I'd of probably preferred a male sponsor too. I'm imagining it being under much different circumstances though. Like in a program with oversight and not having to negating step work, etc.

Pro Empowerment!
Truth about AA: http://orange-papers.org/menu1.html
Expose AA: http://www.expaa.org/

gigi

Mon, 05/14/2012 - 13:20

I had a male sponsor. The relationship was not inappropriate simply because we were of opposite genders, but because the whole sponsor/sponsee dynamic is inappropriate and unbalanced. I don't mean to minimize the issue of '13th stepping' or sexual exploitation in AA/NA at all; I just think that sponsorship is effed-up regardless of whether it's women with women/men with men or if people choose opposite sex sponsors.

"If I forget who I am, I am myself. If I remember who I am, I am you."

dolson's picture

dolson

Sun, 05/20/2012 - 16:25

I do not condone opposite sex sponsors, never have. As a husband and family man, I do not see the need for me to spend hours with another woman, regardless of the intended purpose. Being a good spouse does not entail invoking feelings of insecurity, or jealousy in one's partner. It's just not cool.

Go ahead, enjoy yourselves - it's getting late, much later than you think.

Pennywise's picture

Pennywise

Mon, 05/14/2012 - 03:22

Lol:

“You know I love you, right?” he asked.

“Yes,” I said, feeling uncomfortable.

“And I will never have sex with you, okay?” he added.

“Okay.” I nodded, still high and dazed from my last convulsion. It all felt like an out-of-body experience.

"Hokey religions and ancient weapons are no match for a good blaster at your side, kid."

avogadno's picture

avogadno

Mon, 05/14/2012 - 09:05

The fact that he felt the need to bring that up is rather creepy.

Pro Empowerment!
Truth about AA: http://orange-papers.org/menu1.html
Expose AA: http://www.expaa.org/

disclosure

Mon, 05/14/2012 - 07:49

Pour one impaired breeding pair into room who feel rejected by society and add a generous helping of love bomb and understanding.

Return them to said room repeatedly so they may form bonds through imagining each other in scenarios.

Mix in two hairdos, three lingerie, one half scent, a plumpie, and some eye contact.

Add one “break through moment” in which mascara runs down female subject cheeks.

Remove from the room and let stand in hotel, parking lot, utility closet, or shrubbery until fleshy union is achieved.

Clean up with moist towel.

jonnijoy's picture

jonnijoy

Mon, 05/14/2012 - 14:08

I had a woman sponsor who was married to the veterinarian I take my pup to. Had to let her go though, she talked too much. She was literally an obsessive talker. I would have to make my girlfriend say something in the background like' get off the phone, we are running late' or anything so that I could get her off the phone without hurting her feelings. My female sponsor was by far the best one I had out of 3 total. None of them had what I wanted though as far as 'sobrety' goes.