Anyone Ever Think About Suicide?

Ironic's picture
Submitted by Ironic on Tue, 05/08/2012 - 09:07

Do any of you really just hate life either way? My life isn't manageable when I'm high, and no matter how long I kick dope for, it doesn't get better. High was just always something I did instead of suicide.

Anyone ever think about the most painless way to go? I'd think it would be an overdose. It would cost a hell of a lot of money for me to overdose on anything, that's for sure. Besides, if I was high I wouldnt want to kill myself until it was gone.

I graduated, and I feel even worse.

I've got an appointment at 1:30 for a hepatitis screening. I have a little money but no proof of income. I hope they'll see me. My girlfriend has lupus, so if I have hep..well, it would have to end, huh?

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btnben's picture

btnben

Thu, 05/10/2012 - 14:22

Quod erat demonstrandum - so it has been shown. It's used at the end of a proof, usually in mathematics. It's sort of Latin for "Na, na na na na - up yours"...lol

God damn it, get me a whiskey

Bill W, Deathbed

http://www.youtube.com/watch?source=patrick.net&v=Sdn3O6aaMNc

becket's picture

becket

Fri, 05/11/2012 - 10:31

QED is also medical shorthand for "four times daily" or "once every six hours".

“The essence of the independent mind lies not in what it thinks, but in how it thinks.”
― Christopher Hitchens, Letters to a Young Contrarian

Clara's picture

Clara

Thu, 05/10/2012 - 06:00

As I have said before, Patti, I believe that the BB has many "worst case" scenarious in it.

Remember Christopher Stevens when you vote.

becket's picture

becket

Thu, 05/10/2012 - 14:38

Although what you learned in culinary school is beyond fascinating, I'd like to read what you learned in your six years of residency in psychiatry. I've got the popcorn, Waiting breathlessly, patti . . .

“The essence of the independent mind lies not in what it thinks, but in how it thinks.”
― Christopher Hitchens, Letters to a Young Contrarian

patti

Thu, 05/10/2012 - 05:29

Ben,
okay, another one of those myths taught over & over as true, I've believed it for years. Myths carry some weight, like Stepperism! The power of suggestion, I have continued to eat desserts & foods with alcohol content believing I wasn't ingesting & I've been okay & have not gone back to drinking & am not in jail, an institution or dead. Kind of like what you don't know won't hurt you, I wish that was the deal with stepperism, but that's a whole lot of fallacy & myth that is harmful & fallacy. It is good to know about the alcohol cooking thing because I've been cooking for people on medicines & thinking we were safe & good. But luckily no harm done, ty.

patti

patti

Thu, 05/10/2012 - 11:44

I'm not sure if there is a person & personality more exasperating, frustrating & useless to interact with than a person who is really dumb, dense & stupid & on top of that is so selfish & self absorbed & self righteous & a liar & just can't get anything unless it is about the dysfunctional way their own mind works & the way they see & comprehend things, which is always dumb & wrong.
They honestly just can't comprehend any one's opinion, view or actual facts that differ from their selfish, selfish & self absorbed & dysfunctional minds. Losers & they have to subject others to their loser minds. I guess the only solution is not to participate with them.

patti

becket's picture

becket

Thu, 05/10/2012 - 14:34

Peace be with you, patti.

“The essence of the independent mind lies not in what it thinks, but in how it thinks.”
― Christopher Hitchens, Letters to a Young Contrarian

avogadno's picture

avogadno

Fri, 05/11/2012 - 18:03

And also with you....

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mfc66uk

Thu, 05/10/2012 - 15:10

This thread really does show why AA is not a good place to be if you have depression. I did not read many of the trollette's posts but the lack of understanding and the insensitivity comes across the early, ignorent and dissmissive posts by Clara.
I can remember being told by some old timer that I would feel bad in AA and I did, around the time that reality hit me and I saw what a load of crap the program was. I had gone along with the " solution" but luckily for me I also looked elsewhere and got a more balanced view.
The steps can have a very neagative effect on somebody who is depressed and certainly no sane Dr would suggest doing step 4 and 5 when you are down. Those steps work for people with a huge ego, or the aggressive, but not for someone who is suffering depression.
My old sponsor just used to tell everyone to pray. That was obviously a complete waste of time, when ever I tried it I felt stupid.
There are some good people on here that like to have some rational discussion but the steppers always try to bring it down and that is the problem with AA. You will always have ignorent, extreme members with nothing else in their lives who will try to dominate meetings as that is their sad life. Most of them have become totally socially dysfunctional as a result of relying on the big book as a source of all wisdom.

avogadno's picture

avogadno

Thu, 05/10/2012 - 16:58

I checked in with Ironic through text. She's OK. Better but not great, and Legally enjoying herself. She plans on responding when she has access to a computer. Thanks to all for the kind words.

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Clara's picture

Clara

Fri, 05/11/2012 - 10:38

Legally? Glad that she is enjoying herself, but she is no more legal than I was since I wasn't the card carrying MMJ patient when I was getting it for Spike.

Remember Christopher Stevens when you vote.

Pennywise's picture

Pennywise

Fri, 05/11/2012 - 10:56

Plus even with a card it's still illegal under federal law.

"Hokey religions and ancient weapons are no match for a good blaster at your side, kid."

avogadno's picture

avogadno

Fri, 05/11/2012 - 17:14

I was just passing along a message. Never know, maybe someone decided against it.

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patti

Thu, 05/10/2012 - 20:05

Ironic,
glad you are having a good time & enjoying yourself. Just wanted to let you know been thinking of you & hoping & wishing you are feeling better.

patti

patti

Thu, 05/10/2012 - 21:14

gi gi,
You should just learn to enjoy soup on soup's terms, Clara. love it. LOL.

brett,
Let go & let soup. Love it. ha ha

patti

Clara's picture

Clara

Fri, 05/11/2012 - 10:39

I do. I am sure that every abstinent alcoholic in France doesn't starve, either! LOL is right.

Remember Christopher Stevens when you vote.

gigi

Fri, 05/11/2012 - 14:27

You're not abstinent. Or French. Or an alcoholic.

"If I forget who I am, I am myself. If I remember who I am, I am you."

Pennywise's picture

Pennywise

Fri, 05/11/2012 - 14:32

Clara, it is funny how you seem to think most good foods contain booze. Indeed, you act like you would never enjoy good food again if you limited yourself to those dishes that do not contain alcohol. I wonder, is that a type of alcoholic thinking?

"Hokey religions and ancient weapons are no match for a good blaster at your side, kid."

Persephone In Exile's picture

Persephone In Exile

Fri, 05/11/2012 - 14:36

Yeah, well, she seems to think fondue is considered "gourmet" fare as well, so I wouldn't be too shocked. Generational thing perhaps, too?

http://badrecovery.blogspot.com/

gigi

Fri, 05/11/2012 - 14:40

If McDonald's started offering a sherry service with the Big Mac, she'd be in.

"If I forget who I am, I am myself. If I remember who I am, I am you."

patti

Fri, 05/11/2012 - 15:24

Gi gi you are really funny! Lol enjoy your posts!

patti

becket's picture

becket

Fri, 05/11/2012 - 16:22

But just imagine the increase in 12-step crimes committed at McDonald's. JR Harris would have a field day.

“The essence of the independent mind lies not in what it thinks, but in how it thinks.”
― Christopher Hitchens, Letters to a Young Contrarian

Clara's picture

Clara

Fri, 05/11/2012 - 15:04

It's not that at all, Penny. But no one told me that I would be relegated for life to places that used paper napkins and had toys in their combos. I surely don't eat that way daily. This subject came about from an experience I had at a lunch when I ordered fare that was normal for me but not for my guest. I've been to any number of dinners with other AA members that wouldn't have given it a second thought. When we had our ladies dinner at the Fondue Pot for a woman that was moving away, some had their cheese fondue made with broth, others the traditional way, and if anyone thought adversely of it, it wasn't shared. Of course, you don't eat fondue everyday. Heck, it took months just to get a reservation.

Remember Christopher Stevens when you vote.

Pennywise's picture

Pennywise

Fri, 05/11/2012 - 15:14

But no one told me that I would be relegated for life to places that used paper napkins and had toys in their combos.

You just completely buttressed my point with this. Basically, you think that if you were to limit yourself to only alcohol-free foods, you would be "relegated for life to places that used paper napkins and had toys in their combos." That's simply crazy. As surprising as it might sound to you, a great many Steppers avoid foods with alcohol. They still eat good food at nice restaurants. Only a lunatic or a person obsessed with alcohol would equate avoiding foods with booze to being relegated to McDonald's. Seriously.

"Hokey religions and ancient weapons are no match for a good blaster at your side, kid."

Brett

Fri, 05/11/2012 - 15:20

don't have paper napkins und toys in their combos ? & who'd wanna go to a place like that ?

Brett

becket's picture

becket

Fri, 05/11/2012 - 17:41

You're slurring again, Brett.

“The essence of the independent mind lies not in what it thinks, but in how it thinks.”
― Christopher Hitchens, Letters to a Young Contrarian

Pennywise's picture

Pennywise

Fri, 05/11/2012 - 15:22

Case in point:

When you went to that restaurant in Myrtle Beach, you had to specially order the fortified wine because it did not normally come with the meal. Your Stepper buddy was shocked, so she must not have have done that. Did that restaurant have paper napkins? Did they give you a toy with the meal?

"Hokey religions and ancient weapons are no match for a good blaster at your side, kid."

Clara's picture

Clara

Fri, 05/11/2012 - 15:38

Doesn't matter is that is not how THEY serve it. Traditionally, that is how the dish is served.

As I said in a previous, when we went out for desserts after a meeting, Mickey got chocolate mousse that she said had "something" in it. I notice she didn't stop eating it. So much for shock.

Remember Christopher Stevens when you vote.

Pennywise's picture

Pennywise

Fri, 05/11/2012 - 15:44

Good lord, Clara. Try to follow the conversation. How it is traditionally served has nothing to do with being relegated to fast food places. You ate at a restaurant that uses cloth napkins and does not give toys with the food. That restaurant served non-alcoholic foods. Try to keep up.

"Hokey religions and ancient weapons are no match for a good blaster at your side, kid."

Clara's picture

Clara

Fri, 05/11/2012 - 15:51

I think I am doing just fine, Penny. Let me put it another way since it is hard to grasp. I don't always eat where there is a dollar menu.

Remember Christopher Stevens when you vote.

gigi

Fri, 05/11/2012 - 15:54

That's putting it a different way? You're not an idiot, Clara. You're just dishonest.

"If I forget who I am, I am myself. If I remember who I am, I am you."

Pennywise's picture

Pennywise

Fri, 05/11/2012 - 15:57

So if a restaurant serves dishes that do not have alcohol, then it has a dollar menu? Really? Is it simply that you are not interested in eating non-alcoholic foods? Where do you think many of the steppers eat who do avoid alcoholic foods? You know, I've ate at some pretty fancy places myself. Still do. Most of the food items are alcohol free. You are totally out of touch with reality here. It's hard to believe you are a real person and not just trolling.

"Hokey religions and ancient weapons are no match for a good blaster at your side, kid."

Brett

Fri, 05/11/2012 - 16:04

dollar resturant ?

Brett

JR Harris's picture

JR Harris

Fri, 05/11/2012 - 15:47

The old Clancy Midtown/Pacific group ploy. Take the newcomer out to eat and slip alcohol laced desert to them while you are telling them that if they have any alcohol they are prone to relapse. Before you know it they will be ordering crab bisque soup and a hotel room..........

"Tradition 10 - Alcoholics Anonymous has no opinion on outside issues; hence the AA name ought never be drawn into public controversy." Please follow orders from the Interchurch Center if you are an AA member and don't comment.

avogadno's picture

avogadno

Fri, 05/11/2012 - 17:17

When they brought the Sherry, did they replace your plastic utensils with fine silver?

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causeandeffect's picture

causeandeffect

Fri, 05/11/2012 - 17:21

No, just a silver plated spork and a bib.

Troll free AA critical forum
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"The good thing about science is that it's true whether or not you believe in it." ~ Neil deGrasse Tyson

patti

Fri, 05/11/2012 - 17:34

Lol

patti

patti

Fri, 05/11/2012 - 15:27

Lol no booze means only toys in your foods! Omg! Lol

patti

causeandeffect's picture

causeandeffect

Fri, 05/11/2012 - 16:14

Actually patti, I think clara is just toying with her food a bit, if you know what I mean. LOL!

Troll free AA critical forum
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"The good thing about science is that it's true whether or not you believe in it." ~ Neil deGrasse Tyson

Persephone In Exile's picture

Persephone In Exile

Fri, 05/11/2012 - 17:21

A lunatic or a person obsessed with alcohol--or someone COMPLETELY unfamiliar with higher end restaurants. I have seriously never been to a good restaurant, even a few of the French owned local ones where I live now, and been unable to find anything that didn't involve alcohol. I'm sorry, but I spend more on dining out than I ever could've on drugs, and I do not see where she's getting this from. At all. Unless you're tied to a few dishes, it's not THAT hard to find magnificent creations that just don't involve alcohol (unless maybe you're considering wine vinegars to be alcohol??).

Sorry, not to out myself as a foodie there, but if there's a line between having alcohol in your meal and being stuck eating McNuggets I must have completely missed it. That argument makes so little sense it's just sad. And bizarre.

http://badrecovery.blogspot.com/

dolson's picture

dolson

Mon, 05/14/2012 - 13:57

I have been catching up on my forum reading, and this thread departed from reality over 400 comments ago. This thread was totally derailed by clarietta the Robo Troll and her alter ego marietta becket. Any outsider, or regular poster for that matter, can only shake their head, and close the browser window.

This is an open question to the forum. Is there any possibility of implementing moderation, or at least a comment rating system? The latter will allow one vote per member on each comment in a thread, and relegate the nonsensical and venomous comments made by the resident trolls to the bottom.

What I am getting at is, would it be acceptable to set a minimum standard of decorum, and limit the rampant stupidity that abounds here? I belong to both Dodge Ram Owners and Veterans Affairs forums. If I was to begin personally attacking other members, and posting nonsensical rants, I would be out on my ass. Membership in both forums revoked without a doubt.

Just a thought. As you where.

Go ahead, enjoy yourselves - it's getting late, much later than you think.

avogadno's picture

avogadno

Fri, 05/11/2012 - 15:05

lol Penny that reminds me of my Mom! She's been having trouble, and won't agree to take her medication on occasion. That's not funny in in itself of course, but looking back it was. I called in her prescriptions for her just today and found out one has been recently labeled a controlled substance. Upon hearing this, she decided that it might now be worth taking! Uh, should I confess this at a meeting? It might be hereditary.

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becket's picture

becket

Fri, 05/11/2012 - 16:41

When's the next time you're going to a meeting?

“The essence of the independent mind lies not in what it thinks, but in how it thinks.”
― Christopher Hitchens, Letters to a Young Contrarian

avogadno's picture

avogadno

Fri, 05/11/2012 - 17:19

Actually I have no meetings planned.

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becket's picture

becket

Fri, 05/11/2012 - 17:42

Why refer to them then?

“The essence of the independent mind lies not in what it thinks, but in how it thinks.”
― Christopher Hitchens, Letters to a Young Contrarian

avogadno's picture

avogadno

Fri, 05/11/2012 - 18:05

Oh that's right, I'm not allowed to joke with Ben.

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becket's picture

becket

Fri, 05/11/2012 - 18:21

WTF? Who said you can't joke with "Ben"? it wasn't me. But if you're going to cache a remark to someone else on a post presumably directed to me, maybe you might have the courtesy to point that out??

“The essence of the independent mind lies not in what it thinks, but in how it thinks.”
― Christopher Hitchens, Letters to a Young Contrarian

avogadno's picture

avogadno

Fri, 05/11/2012 - 19:43

lol. I didn't direct the post at you, I was talking to Pennywise. How can you confuse that?

I said: "Lol Penny,......". Then you asked a question about my post directed to him and I answered (nicely even). You got confused so I explained myself, said I was joking (and I was joking with Penny, not Ben..Per your signature - another joke).

Why do you think that you have the right to: 1) Ask a question about a comment that was not directed to you and unrelated to you? And also: 2) Get mad at me and bitch me out for not thoroughly explaining what I said to someone else?

Take a deep breathe, pull your panties out of your crack. Then re-read Penny's comment (which ended up several posts above my own), then my post to Penn, and then your criticism of mine. I think you might have Clara-itis. Thinking everyone is either talking to you or about you.

Pro Empowerment!
Truth about AA: http://orange-papers.org/menu1.html
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btnben's picture

btnben

Fri, 05/11/2012 - 14:21

She does like to namedrop. Started throwing the Clancy name around before she realised how despised the lecherous old bastard was. No going back now...lol

God damn it, get me a whiskey

Bill W, Deathbed

http://www.youtube.com/watch?source=patrick.net&v=Sdn3O6aaMNc

Clara's picture

Clara

Fri, 05/11/2012 - 15:05

He's despised by you, adored by others, tolerated by some. I admire Clancy's work at the mission.

Remember Christopher Stevens when you vote.

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