Anyone Ever Think About Suicide?

Ironic's picture
Submitted by Ironic on Tue, 05/08/2012 - 09:07

Do any of you really just hate life either way? My life isn't manageable when I'm high, and no matter how long I kick dope for, it doesn't get better. High was just always something I did instead of suicide.

Anyone ever think about the most painless way to go? I'd think it would be an overdose. It would cost a hell of a lot of money for me to overdose on anything, that's for sure. Besides, if I was high I wouldnt want to kill myself until it was gone.

I graduated, and I feel even worse.

I've got an appointment at 1:30 for a hepatitis screening. I have a little money but no proof of income. I hope they'll see me. My girlfriend has lupus, so if I have hep..well, it would have to end, huh?

Comments

btnben's picture

btnben

Wed, 05/09/2012 - 15:54

Clara says booze whenever you want, as long as it's hidden. Which one is right?

God damn it, get me a whiskey

Bill W, Deathbed

http://www.youtube.com/watch?source=patrick.net&v=Sdn3O6aaMNc

Pennywise's picture

Pennywise

Wed, 05/09/2012 - 15:55

Whether is is a traditional accompaniment for the dish makes no difference whatsoever as it pertains to the topic of abstinence.

"Hokey religions and ancient weapons are no match for a good blaster at your side, kid."

Clara's picture

Clara

Wed, 05/09/2012 - 16:04

We shall have to agree to disagree. I hardly consider crab bisque to be mind altering.

Remember Christopher Stevens when you vote.

Pennywise's picture

Pennywise

Wed, 05/09/2012 - 16:11

You should quit making up your own definitions of words. Abstinence means not consuming any alcoholic beverages. It does not mean simply refraining from consuming enough alcohol to alter the mind. The word you are looking for is "moderation."

"Hokey religions and ancient weapons are no match for a good blaster at your side, kid."

becket's picture

becket

Wed, 05/09/2012 - 16:21

How come everyone's so bent about Clara's sherry when they completely look past Ironic's megadope magnet? There's nothing level about this Orange platform. I guess killer pot is de rigueur, but sherry is verboten.

Exasperatin'!

“The essence of the independent mind lies not in what it thinks, but in how it thinks.”
― Christopher Hitchens, Letters to a Young Contrarian

Pennywise's picture

Pennywise

Wed, 05/09/2012 - 16:29

Simple. Ironic does not claim to be abstinent; Clara does.

"Hokey religions and ancient weapons are no match for a good blaster at your side, kid."

becket's picture

becket

Wed, 05/09/2012 - 17:09

Oh, I get it.

“The essence of the independent mind lies not in what it thinks, but in how it thinks.”
― Christopher Hitchens, Letters to a Young Contrarian

gigi

Wed, 05/09/2012 - 16:56

How come you're so hell bent on defending Clara's nonsensical ramblings, Becket? I thought you were smarter than that.

"If I forget who I am, I am myself. If I remember who I am, I am you."

becket's picture

becket

Wed, 05/09/2012 - 17:09

You were right. It's a slow day.

“The essence of the independent mind lies not in what it thinks, but in how it thinks.”
― Christopher Hitchens, Letters to a Young Contrarian

Clara's picture

Clara

Wed, 05/09/2012 - 17:09

It wasn't a beverage, Penny.

Remember Christopher Stevens when you vote.

Pennywise's picture

Pennywise

Wed, 05/09/2012 - 17:13

Fine. We'll call it booze in a cup then.

"Hokey religions and ancient weapons are no match for a good blaster at your side, kid."

btnben's picture

btnben

Wed, 05/09/2012 - 16:13

"Agree to disagree" implies both sides of the argument are valid and it's up to the individual to decide. In this case you are 100% wrong Clara, so it is not possible to "agree to disagree", not if you're "living life on life's terms" anyway.

God damn it, get me a whiskey

Bill W, Deathbed

http://www.youtube.com/watch?source=patrick.net&v=Sdn3O6aaMNc

Clara's picture

Clara

Wed, 05/09/2012 - 16:17

Well, his point is valid to him as mine is to me. I don't feel that I am wrong, Ben. At the end of the day, the only sobriety it affects is mine. I don't consider it to be moderation at all. It's not even on the scale.

Remember Christopher Stevens when you vote.

Pennywise's picture

Pennywise

Wed, 05/09/2012 - 16:32

On this side of the looking glass words and concepts have certain objective meanings. For example, consuming just enough of an alcoholic beverage for the taste but not enough for the effects is called "moderation."

"Hokey religions and ancient weapons are no match for a good blaster at your side, kid."

Persephone In Exile's picture

Persephone In Exile

Wed, 05/09/2012 - 17:36

Well, for the record, it doesn't bother me in the least that Clara likes her soup. I know the point (I think) attempting to be made here, and probably shouldn't even weigh in, but there it is. Hell, if they used my DOC to make half the foods I eat (in non-high producing manners) I'd still eat them. Then again, I also told the xAs I knew advising me to go to hell just on principle, so I'm not exactly playing on the same team there, either.

Incidentally, I cut out bisques when I cut most dairy and fats from my diet. Damn me and my self policing, eh? No one ever served it with a side of sherry though. Like I said, must be a mid-atlantic thing.

http://badrecovery.blogspot.com/

avogadno's picture

avogadno

Wed, 05/09/2012 - 19:38

What if you had the brisque with 2 sides of Sherry three times a day?

Pro Empowerment!
Truth about AA: http://orange-papers.org/menu1.html
Expose AA: http://www.expaa.org/

Persephone In Exile's picture

Persephone In Exile

Wed, 05/09/2012 - 19:51

Avo, did you mean me or Clara? Because if you meant me, you must have forgotten the extreme health nut views I hold! Creamy soup 3 times a day? With or without alcohol? Surely you jest;)

Doorknob help me, I've turned into one of "those people"....

http://badrecovery.blogspot.com/

avogadno's picture

avogadno

Wed, 05/09/2012 - 20:02

I meant Clara.

Oh no worries. I'm a nutty eater too. You remember, the vegetarian that won't eat veggies.

Good to see you posting. I hope that means your well :)

Pro Empowerment!
Truth about AA: http://orange-papers.org/menu1.html
Expose AA: http://www.expaa.org/

Persephone In Exile's picture

Persephone In Exile

Wed, 05/09/2012 - 20:06

Slight cold, but thanks. Mainly it's that I'm somewhat able to disentangle myself (for a moment or two) from the horror that is local state politics to be able to even think about this subject again! It's been a crazy week!

http://badrecovery.blogspot.com/

Clara's picture

Clara

Thu, 05/10/2012 - 05:43

You'd get fat, Avo!

Remember Christopher Stevens when you vote.

avogadno's picture

avogadno

Thu, 05/10/2012 - 17:16

Actually I meant what if you meaning you Clara. How many sherry's with your meal would be too many? Or how many meals that included Sherry would be to many? I don't eat crab at all and oddly, I wouldn't consume the sherry if I did. Strict orders. No alcohol whatsoever.

Pro Empowerment!
Truth about AA: http://orange-papers.org/menu1.html
Expose AA: http://www.expaa.org/

Persephone In Exile's picture

Persephone In Exile

Wed, 05/09/2012 - 16:34

Well, personally, I found it embarrassing to have to ask for alcohol to be left out in restaurants. Anything, really, but especially alcohol. I was always afraid they'd think I was AA or something, oddly enough.

http://badrecovery.blogspot.com/

btnben's picture

btnben

Wed, 05/09/2012 - 16:37

In any area there are always a few who like to advertise the fact. I remember one guy in Germany used to say, when ordering, "is there any alcohol in that? We're all alcoholics" or words to that effect. We went for a pizza once and he did it - it was all I could do to refrain from belting him - asshole...lol

God damn it, get me a whiskey

Bill W, Deathbed

http://www.youtube.com/watch?source=patrick.net&v=Sdn3O6aaMNc

Clara's picture

Clara

Wed, 05/09/2012 - 17:10

That was rude of him, Ben.

Remember Christopher Stevens when you vote.

avogadno's picture

avogadno

Wed, 05/09/2012 - 19:40

Reminds me of walking into a local restaurant with my family. My kids wondered why strange men rushed up to hug me. Like they were a long lost relative. Isn't the point to be discreet?

Pro Empowerment!
Truth about AA: http://orange-papers.org/menu1.html
Expose AA: http://www.expaa.org/

Pennywise's picture

Pennywise

Wed, 05/09/2012 - 16:39

Well, personally, I found it embarrassing to have to ask for alcohol to be left out in restaurants. Anything, really, but especially alcohol. I was always afraid they'd think I was AA or something, oddly enough.

Yeah but Clara does the opposite of that. She specifically asks for the alcohol when the restaurant does not normally serve it with the meal.

"Hokey religions and ancient weapons are no match for a good blaster at your side, kid."

btnben's picture

btnben

Wed, 05/09/2012 - 16:40

And she still doesn't seem to have come to grips with the basics.

God damn it, get me a whiskey

Bill W, Deathbed

http://www.youtube.com/watch?source=patrick.net&v=Sdn3O6aaMNc

Clara's picture

Clara

Wed, 05/09/2012 - 17:11

When, of course, any other place serving the same thing does...

Remember Christopher Stevens when you vote.

becket's picture

becket

Wed, 05/09/2012 - 17:15

in 1985 I waited for an hour with friends for our table at Lutece. For dessert I ordered an apricot mousse. Found out, at the end of the spectacular prix fixe meal that the mousse was a booze mousse. The waiter brought it to the table and, with a virtual tear, I sent it away. No big noise about the alcohol content. Just another choice that I needed to make on my own behalf.

“The essence of the independent mind lies not in what it thinks, but in how it thinks.”
― Christopher Hitchens, Letters to a Young Contrarian

JR Harris's picture

JR Harris

Wed, 05/09/2012 - 16:07

-
LOBSTER OR CRAB BISQUE
2 cans cream of mushroom soup
1 can tomato bisque soup
2/3 c. dry sherry
1 c. light cream
2 c. milk
1 (7 oz.) can lobster or crab with liquid (I use crab because lobster is so expensive; lobster tastes better)

Blend sherry, milk, and cream into soups in saucepan. Add lobster/crab and heat gently, stirring often, until hot. Do not boil. Very good for lunch with green salad.

"Tradition 10 - Alcoholics Anonymous has no opinion on outside issues; hence the AA name ought never be drawn into public controversy." Please follow orders from the Interchurch Center if you are an AA member and don't comment.

btnben's picture

btnben

Wed, 05/09/2012 - 14:31

This is crazy...lol. You know that this site is comprised mainly of people who have left AA because they have seen it for the sham it is. What possible use is a wannabe alcoholic coming on here mindlessly spouting AA slogans like a push button machine. Why are you here Clara? What are you trying to achieve? Are you just bored with "living life on life's terms"?

God damn it, get me a whiskey

Bill W, Deathbed

http://www.youtube.com/watch?source=patrick.net&v=Sdn3O6aaMNc

Clara's picture

Clara

Wed, 05/09/2012 - 14:35

I enjoy living life on life's terms, Ben. The way I used to do it created more misery than I should have endured. Leaving AA is one thing. Being sober is another.

Remember Christopher Stevens when you vote.

btnben's picture

btnben

Wed, 05/09/2012 - 14:38

AA redefining words, like "sober" and "denial", and "recovery"and..............

And Penny did ask nicely what the fuck you mean by life on life's terms. Haven't seen an answer yet. Nothing new there.

God damn it, get me a whiskey

Bill W, Deathbed

http://www.youtube.com/watch?source=patrick.net&v=Sdn3O6aaMNc

Clara's picture

Clara

Wed, 05/09/2012 - 14:40

Maybe I didn't even see it, Ben.

Life's terms - the ebb and flow of my life and the circumstances in it.

Remember Christopher Stevens when you vote.

btnben's picture

btnben

Wed, 05/09/2012 - 14:43

That's the only way you can live - drunk or sober. You take what comes and make the best of it. Just because you fuck up more when you are drunk, doesn't mean you aren't living on life's terms as you put it. That really is one of the dumber AA sayings - is it one of your favorites?...lol

God damn it, get me a whiskey

Bill W, Deathbed

http://www.youtube.com/watch?source=patrick.net&v=Sdn3O6aaMNc

Clara's picture

Clara

Wed, 05/09/2012 - 14:49

I always screwed it up because of drink. I didn't make the best of things and my perception was very skewed. I still see things differently than many people. Whereas my husband sees a weed, I see a lovely flower. I obviously think differently than you do, but even you have made references to my happiness. That wasn't there five years ago, Ben.

Remember Christopher Stevens when you vote.

btnben's picture

btnben

Wed, 05/09/2012 - 14:56

"but even you have made references to my happiness. " - Deluded doesn't mean that...lol

God damn it, get me a whiskey

Bill W, Deathbed

http://www.youtube.com/watch?source=patrick.net&v=Sdn3O6aaMNc

becket's picture

becket

Wed, 05/09/2012 - 15:29

The option? Haven't you been keeping up with the Ironic saga?

“The essence of the independent mind lies not in what it thinks, but in how it thinks.”
― Christopher Hitchens, Letters to a Young Contrarian

Pennywise's picture

Pennywise

Wed, 05/09/2012 - 14:48

Life's terms - the ebb and flow of my life and the circumstances in it.

What does that even mean? Isn't that just "living?" I assume "living life on life's terms" means something different than "living," or else you would not have added the extra words.

"Hokey religions and ancient weapons are no match for a good blaster at your side, kid."

Clara's picture

Clara

Wed, 05/09/2012 - 14:50

Okay, Penny. You tell me what it means. You sit in those rooms, too, albeit by force. But this above was always my definition.

Remember Christopher Stevens when you vote.

btnben's picture

btnben

Wed, 05/09/2012 - 14:54

It's Billshit

God damn it, get me a whiskey

Bill W, Deathbed

http://www.youtube.com/watch?source=patrick.net&v=Sdn3O6aaMNc

becket's picture

becket

Wed, 05/09/2012 - 15:29

What does flat seven flat five mean to you, btnben?

“The essence of the independent mind lies not in what it thinks, but in how it thinks.”
― Christopher Hitchens, Letters to a Young Contrarian

btnben's picture

btnben

Wed, 05/09/2012 - 15:52

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zy32cq1Fs54

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/I_Bought_a_Flat_Guitar_Tutor

God damn it, get me a whiskey

Bill W, Deathbed

http://www.youtube.com/watch?source=patrick.net&v=Sdn3O6aaMNc

becket's picture

becket

Wed, 05/09/2012 - 16:14

I asked you, not wikipedia, idiot.

“The essence of the independent mind lies not in what it thinks, but in how it thinks.”
― Christopher Hitchens, Letters to a Young Contrarian

btnben's picture

btnben

Wed, 05/09/2012 - 16:15

I will let you know when you're next needed.

God damn it, get me a whiskey

Bill W, Deathbed

http://www.youtube.com/watch?source=patrick.net&v=Sdn3O6aaMNc

becket's picture

becket

Wed, 05/09/2012 - 16:23

Go rent a pygmy and see if he can find it.

“The essence of the independent mind lies not in what it thinks, but in how it thinks.”
― Christopher Hitchens, Letters to a Young Contrarian

btnben's picture

btnben

Wed, 05/09/2012 - 16:30

She asked a question. I asked for clarification. In my reply I included a couple of links to a rather clever piece of music. Never said a word out of place and even pointed her to something that she may find of interest (Grammy winner that she is...lol). What do I get? Knee jerk abuse...lol. Oh well Marietta - you've had your chance...lol

God damn it, get me a whiskey

Bill W, Deathbed

http://www.youtube.com/watch?source=patrick.net&v=Sdn3O6aaMNc

becket's picture

becket

Wed, 05/09/2012 - 17:11

Coy is ugly on you, btnben. Without the link I may have bought into your innocent schtick, but you blew your own cover. Idiot.

“The essence of the independent mind lies not in what it thinks, but in how it thinks.”
― Christopher Hitchens, Letters to a Young Contrarian

btnben's picture

btnben

Wed, 05/09/2012 - 17:26

is your default setting, but did you actually check the links out? It's there for all to see. Keep digging Marietta - we can all have a good laugh at you...lol

God damn it, get me a whiskey

Bill W, Deathbed

http://www.youtube.com/watch?source=patrick.net&v=Sdn3O6aaMNc

Pennywise's picture

Pennywise

Wed, 05/09/2012 - 15:17

I have no clue what it means. To me it is meaningless Stepper-blabber with no clear definition or meaning at all. They say it because it sounds good with no critical thought whatsoever.

"Hokey religions and ancient weapons are no match for a good blaster at your side, kid."

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