34th wedding anniversary

Of course it's a cult!

Congrats on the annivesary.

Congratulations on your wedding anniversary, Dorak! Your story will sound familiar to many. As I posted on here before, I was regarded with deep suspicion by the steppers who were trying their best to jeopardize my partner’s sobriety in a rehab centre by imposing all this 12 step nonsense on him, even though I was the one who originally managed to persuade him to get help, and was also the person who was paying their extortionate fees!

And like you, the support of my partner’s friends and relatives – almost all of whom drink to some extent – was invaluable to him, especially in the early days. The very worst thing he could have done would have been to cut himself off from them and isolate himself from normal society and relationships. The way that steppers regard everyone in a person’s life who is not in AA as a malign influence is one of the most damaging things that they preach. It is also hugely insulting to those other people. I’m not one to bang on too much about AA being a cult, although I agree it is very cult-like, but this is an area in which it very definitely does seem to deserve that label.

Once again, many congratulations, and I hope you have a good day!

Many congrats on 34 years especially after unwanted interference by those crazy people. Full on 12 steppers can rarely get on or contemplate life with normal people and are only at home in meetings and around other steppers. They don't tend to look at an individual's circumstances before handing out advice. They rely on a one size fits all approach .Have a good time celebrating!

34 years is a huge accomplishment! I'm so glad you decided to follow your heart rather than a myth.

It calls to mind (not to imply in any way that you needed this) that on list of "what works", marital therapy is 10th on the list, whereas 12 step facilitation ranks 37 and AA ranks 38. My point is that having a good marriage is far more likely to facilitate recovery than superstitious faith healing nonsense. Good job making the right decision when unqualified people were trying to meddle in your life.

http://www.behaviortherapy.com/whatworks.htm

Congratulations Dorak!

My girlfriend is a "normie" too (hah). I think that is so much healthier than 2 junkies/addicts in one relationship.

May you have 34 more years of happiness with her!

Congratulations Dorak! Now that's an anniversary worth celebrating! May you have many more happy years together.

D Nob, great point and congratulations!

34 years is longer than many of those idiots have been alive.

I witnessed and experienced similar pressures, some being after I knew of these tactics. I was quick to point them out to both parties. There is too much pressure to conform in the name of supposed sobriety. People forget what their goal was walking in the door. Running away from problems, or potential problems, is not dealing with them. Essentially these are the instructions, and all in the name of sobriety which is what is dangled in front of all of us. Each time we reach for it, they pull it back another inch and throw in another "but".

Marriage helps define me. We are one, so to speak, and made our vows with sincerity. For me, sobriety was nothing unless I could share it with my husband.

Again, congratulations. 34 years is hard enough in todays world, without the meddling of religious cults trying to pull you apart.

Congrats, dorak.

I know many people in the fellowship with social drinking spouses, even those married to alcoholics that are happy with that.

Congrats, Dorak! And send her some congrats as well;)

Congratulations. Also, I like your user name!

Congrats! Given your screen name, perhaps it would be approriate to ask her to "polish the nob" to commemorate of this joyous occasion? Seriously though, that's a long time. Kudos.