Do these questions seem self defeating? Does the wording and the whole process seem self defeating?
Guilt, Resentment, Fear, Inadequacy, Loneliness: The five areas that seem to cause the most serious problems for people in recovery.
Several years ago, Clancy I., was explaining to me that guilt, resentment, fear, feelings of personal inadequacy and loneliness were the five areas that seem to cause the most serious problems for people in recovery.
He shared with me seven questions that he uses to help a person start writing and he emphasised that the questions and the writing are not intended to replace A.A.’s Step 4, they just help the person get started.
Most of the people who approach Clancy or are referred to him, are very hardcore cases who have tried numerous times and approaches to solve their problems.
I have been using these “Seven Questions” with the people that I sponsor ever since Clancy shared them with me.
I’ve discovered that they are very effective when dealing with rock-bottom newcomers and with the high-bottom intellectual types. I have also used them numerous times in helping oldtimers who were struggling through a difficult period.
Here are the Seven Questions:
1. In looking back over your life – what memories are still painful, guilty, dirty?
2. In what ways do you consider yourself an inadequate person?
3. Who do you resent – and why? Be specific.
4. What do you conceive to be your defects of character – as you see them today?
5. What is the nature of the ongoing problems you have with people close to you – in human relations – what seems to always happen when you have these things that blow up?
6. In what way do you believe that A.A. can help you with any of these problems?
7. In what way do you believe that A.A. can begin to change things?
I never give the newcomer the questions without also setting a time for them to complete their writing. Normally, I’ll give them the questions and expect them to be finished with their writing by the next day, and I’ll have them call me so that we can get together and discuss their answers and apply the solution to their problems.
If the newcomer procrastinates and doesn’t meet the deadline for the questions I usually consider that they are not yet serious enough to approach their problem and I move on to help someone else.
I pass them on to you with the hope that they will help you in helping others as much as they have helped me.
Source: http://www.step12.com/clancy.html
P.S. So much for Clara's "inventory" not being done by the Sponsor but by a professional....... at least if you follow the instructions of Clancy I....
Comments
Clara
Fri, 04/20/2012 - 22:08
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Where do you get repenting
Where do you get repenting over and over? I personally believe that people would benefit from the reading today in Daily Reflections, which spoke about self-examination. Most self help books say similar things. If you can understand your behavior, you can modify it and change! Whatever "ickiness" I had in my life is no longer there because of a willingness to look my life in the eye and to make corrections. There was no "repenting over and over." That you choose to misrepresent something doesn't make it real.
Remember Christopher Stevens when you vote.
JR Harris
Fri, 04/20/2012 - 22:17
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Mein Kampf, Dianetics and the "Big Book" are all dangerous books
Clancy acts as the emissary of the occultist Bill Wilson. Clancy is following the business plan of Bill Wilson and has learned how to be the UNPAID director of the Midnight Mission with 48 million in assets, live like a millionaire and pay no taxes. Clancy has learned how to work the system. Being a groupie of Clancy you should know this........ Quit looking the other way.
"Tradition 10 - Alcoholics Anonymous has no opinion on outside issues; hence the AA name ought never be drawn into public controversy." Please follow orders from the Interchurch Center if you are an AA member and don't comment.
dolson
Sat, 04/21/2012 - 09:42
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Does it really matter what
Absolutely it does. Any true human being would care, but you're a perverted old man. You have an obsession with necrophilia, bestiality and sexual innuendo.
Just another lame attempt at association.
Another lame attempt. The dark history is steppism is very relevant to today's discussion. This is always the case old man.
Why I do marietta. You obviously have a problem with that. Most steptards do.
Latter and recent historical events are related. I also have a problem with both. This is something you so vehemently attempt to discredit at every turn, you Nazi death worship cult apologist.
In JR's words; Spoken like a true believing bill wilson chanter. RESENTMENTS are valid, and acting on them is key. But a true believing stepper simply confesses the resentment as a defect of character, and then continues on swallowing and spewing the Nazi death worship cult's rhetoric.
Ugly, and most assuredly obscene.
Go ahead, enjoy yourselves - it's getting late, much later than you think.
causeandeffect
Fri, 04/20/2012 - 17:36
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Are you kidding? LOL! clara
Are you kidding? LOL! clara screams and squawks about every little thing. Hysteria at its best, that woman.
Troll free AA critical forum
http://www.expaa.org/
"The good thing about science is that it's true whether or not you believe in it." ~ Neil deGrasse Tyson
Clara
Fri, 04/20/2012 - 18:18
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You must be kidding. Hardly
You must be kidding. Hardly hysterical. You can tell when hysteria mounts as that is when the people become vulgar. It's very predictable.
Remember Christopher Stevens when you vote.
JR Harris
Fri, 04/20/2012 - 18:26
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So did you tell Clancy his 7 questions are wrong?
Did you tell Clancy that he should put a statement on his questions saying that they should be done with a professional? Did he return your call, you said he returned your email yesterday and that he wanted you to call him, or were you just lying like usual?
How much did that trip cost you when you were with Clancy anyway?
"Tradition 10 - Alcoholics Anonymous has no opinion on outside issues; hence the AA name ought never be drawn into public controversy." Please follow orders from the Interchurch Center if you are an AA member and don't comment.
Clara
Fri, 04/20/2012 - 18:31
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You just grasp at anything to
You just grasp at anything to call someone a liar, JR. What a child.
Remember Christopher Stevens when you vote.
JR Harris
Fri, 04/20/2012 - 18:36
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Does Clancy agree that it is Ok to lie to your prospects?
Or are you just doing it because you have a moral malady that only chanting Bill Wilson in weird rituals in church basements can cure?
"Tradition 10 - Alcoholics Anonymous has no opinion on outside issues; hence the AA name ought never be drawn into public controversy." Please follow orders from the Interchurch Center if you are an AA member and don't comment.
causeandeffect
Fri, 04/20/2012 - 18:30
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Yes, clara,
we know, we know. You always get hysterical when people use vulgarity, too. We do try to keep this forum suitable for you, but it's really not our responsibility to censor all of the people all the time just for you. Besides, I would have thought at your age, you would have heard some vulgarity by now...
Troll free AA critical forum
http://www.expaa.org/
"The good thing about science is that it's true whether or not you believe in it." ~ Neil deGrasse Tyson
Clara
Fri, 04/20/2012 - 18:32
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It isn't necessary, Cause,
It isn't necessary, Cause, and it says much for those that choose to use it.
Remember Christopher Stevens when you vote.
causeandeffect
Fri, 04/20/2012 - 18:41
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No need to scream, clara. And
No need to scream, clara. And I'm sure your sponsor can use at least one night off. Please do try to calm down.
Troll free AA critical forum
http://www.expaa.org/
"The good thing about science is that it's true whether or not you believe in it." ~ Neil deGrasse Tyson
Clara
Fri, 04/20/2012 - 19:31
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No one is screaming, Cause.
No one is screaming, Cause. It is what it is.
Remember Christopher Stevens when you vote.
Pennywise
Fri, 04/20/2012 - 18:57
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Actually, the swearing AA
Actually, the swearing AA members do at church where others can hear them says more about them than our swearing here says about us. Indeed, I think it is funny how the leaders of many of these meetings have to tell the group to refrain from swearing in the common area. But let me guess, Clara, you've never been to groups where the church has had to speak with leaders about this and the problem persists.
"Hokey religions and ancient weapons are no match for a good blaster at your side, kid."
Clara
Fri, 04/20/2012 - 19:32
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I haven't been to church with
I haven't been to church with AA members, Penny. I really cannot speak to it.
Remember Christopher Stevens when you vote.
Pennywise
Fri, 04/20/2012 - 19:36
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Let me guess, you've never
Let me guess, you've never been to an AA meeting in a church basement, right?
"Hokey religions and ancient weapons are no match for a good blaster at your side, kid."
Clara
Fri, 04/20/2012 - 19:42
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No. I've disclosed where my
No. I've disclosed where my meetings were, and even if they had been at a church, that isn't a church service. They aren't swearing in church.
Remember Christopher Stevens when you vote.
Pennywise
Fri, 04/20/2012 - 19:44
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I'm not going to bother
I'm not going to bother refuting your logic. Res ipsa loquitur.
"Hokey religions and ancient weapons are no match for a good blaster at your side, kid."
Clara
Fri, 04/20/2012 - 19:50
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What's to bother about it?
What's to bother about it? In our opening statements, we address the issue of profanity in the meetings as ours is a spiritual program. Some people have manners, Penny.
Remember Christopher Stevens when you vote.
Pennywise
Fri, 04/20/2012 - 20:03
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I already knew that -- it
I already knew that -- it doesn't happen in your group.
"Hokey religions and ancient weapons are no match for a good blaster at your side, kid."
Clara
Fri, 04/20/2012 - 20:56
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No, Penny, it doesn't. We do
No, Penny, it doesn't. We do not have the language in our meetings that has been demonstrated on this forum.
Remember Christopher Stevens when you vote.
Pennywise
Sat, 04/21/2012 - 04:24
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That's not the point.
That's not the point. Swearing in common areas of a church where you are a guest and non-AA people at the church can hear you is different from swearing on an Internet message board that people choose to read. That's not to say I approve of all of the langauge that has been directed at you. I don't.
"Hokey religions and ancient weapons are no match for a good blaster at your side, kid."
Brett
Fri, 04/20/2012 - 19:03
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clearing clara up
fk off ya step dick sucking drone, vulgarity says fk all about us who choose to use it, it says more about the fking idiot stepping fool it's directed at ya fking dipshit, this is the level I have to get down to to comunicate effectively with brain dead fk wits such as your self. now fk off back to ya clancy cave, ya not welcome here. & get a real job ya fkn welfare grabber.
Brett
becket
Fri, 04/20/2012 - 20:14
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Why, that smells like a
Why, that smells like a profanity-laced, excrement-laden pile of hysteria, Brett.
“The essence of the independent mind lies not in what it thinks, but in how it thinks.”
― Christopher Hitchens, Letters to a Young Contrarian
alkieanon
Fri, 04/20/2012 - 19:02
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Harder to type it, than to actually say it
Harder to type it, than to actually say it. Takes some real effort from what was posted yesterday.
alkieanon
Fri, 04/20/2012 - 19:14
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Or right about now
Or right about now. Re: two (2) comments up.
Clara
Fri, 04/20/2012 - 19:33
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Gosh, and to think he feels
Gosh, and to think he feels that moi is worth the effort! LOL! It is what it is...
Remember Christopher Stevens when you vote.
steve cochrane
Fri, 04/20/2012 - 20:19
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I will tell you whats vulgar.
Doing and saying things to others that always minimize their viewpoints. Simply because you can. That practice is vulgar. It is mean spirited. The internet is wonderful thing. It allows people to share common interests and concerns that are separated by distance. In a normal physical gathering people still get together and enjoy each others company sharing common interests. Now if someone walks into said gathering speaking completely adverse to what was being discussed. What do you think would happen? First people would look at each other perplexed ,yes? Then what would happen is anybodys guess. Most likely people would just get up and walk away. At least in the physical world we could do that. Here we cannot. We must endure your constant presence here. Have you read Oranges' work? I have. I read it long before I decided to post on this forum. You see Clara, I had been duped once before. Once I found this site I knew immediately that there was at least ONE person who shared my views. I felt a huge relief come over me when I found others as well. I now have a place to come where people understand me. I don't have to fight off my feelings regarding AA anymore. Feelings that still linger. I want out! And this site is helping me cycle AA out of my life for good. You will not change anyones viewpoint here Clara. You know this Clara but still you stay. Just because you can. That is vulgar.
becket
Fri, 04/20/2012 - 20:30
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Why yes, Steve, you're
Why yes, Steve, you're absolutely right! Right about, well, some of it . . .
"You know this Clara but still you stay. Just because you can. That is vulgar." Sorry, Steve, but that ain't the definition of "vulgar". Clara is anything but vulgar. Now dullson . . .
“The essence of the independent mind lies not in what it thinks, but in how it thinks.”
― Christopher Hitchens, Letters to a Young Contrarian
steve cochrane
Fri, 04/20/2012 - 21:58
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So I should use the type of language that you are used to?
I think not. Insulting me will not get you anywhere either,oh dear friend becket. Clara and you both know that you are not welcomed here. But being repectful of Orange I accept you here. This is old shit becket. You know that. Lets just cut the shit and get on with it should we? Let me be a little bit more clear in regards to Clara and now I will direct it to you as well. Any person that knowingly and continualy goes into a place (this forum) to do nothing but disrupt, insult and almost always respond to other posters with sarcasm and insult. Is doing this "Just because I can". It is a vulgar behaviour and It is calculated. I respect other human beings too much that I would never cross that line.People are entitled to their opinions,even if I don't agree. But I would never go outside their house and keep yelling my beliefs in their window. Knowing that they do not believe as I do. People here do not see AA in a very good light here. We are all ex AA. We are not going back. I will not waste anymore of my time.
Clara
Fri, 04/20/2012 - 22:05
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Steve, no one has asked you
Steve, no one has asked you to go back. This isn't your house. It is an open forum for discussion and I have abided by the rules. I believe that I have been circumspect. It isn't an AA that causes this board to destruct. If this is how people in recovery outside of AA behave and handle their differences, they can have that kind of sobriety. It reflects nothing on me.
Remember Christopher Stevens when you vote.
becket
Fri, 04/20/2012 - 22:59
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More hysteria, and from a man
More hysteria, and from a man who is trying desperately to keep it all together.
The behavior may be calculated but it is not vulgar. Find another word - a correct word - to describe your fury. You would "never cross the line" but you tell us we're vulgar and we need to "cut the shit"? I smell a double standard here, oh my dearest darling Steve. You respect SOME other human beings. Get real. Tell the truth, oh dishonest one. Don't waste your time; that way you won't waste mine or Clara's. Thanks ever so ;-)
“The essence of the independent mind lies not in what it thinks, but in how it thinks.”
― Christopher Hitchens, Letters to a Young Contrarian
JR Harris
Fri, 04/20/2012 - 23:11
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Does Clancy ever get "mad" or "angry"
I'll bet he does when a prospect doesn't respond to his propaganda.
"Do not be discouraged if your prospect does not respond at once. " BB p.96, Working With Others
"Tradition 10 - Alcoholics Anonymous has no opinion on outside issues; hence the AA name ought never be drawn into public controversy." Please follow orders from the Interchurch Center if you are an AA member and don't comment.
Clara
Sat, 04/21/2012 - 06:57
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I would imagine that every
I would imagine that every person out there has the same emotions as any other. What we discover is how to handle them and keep them in perspective.
Remember Christopher Stevens when you vote.
steve cochrane
Sat, 04/21/2012 - 03:20
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Well you have finaly done it Becket.
You have managed to insult,probably the last and only person on this forum who actualy did care about you. Do you remember awhile back I told you to sharpen your pencil? Well you broke the tip right off,and it didn't take very much either. I was holding out some hope from you becket. If we were to meet on the street and you were in need of help I would help you. I would help you even if I knew it was you. Because as a fellow human being it is the right thing to do. But now having had a few exchanges with you I would not linger there. I would give you some money to fill up your coffers for a bit but that would be it. No out stretched hand no comforting words. No chance for you to be heard. When I said vulgar I meant and thought that I was clear about the behaviour being vulgar not the person. It is boorish behaviour though. It gets old and it stinks. I am not like you becket. I respect the power of the word. You either do not respect it or don't understand what I am saying. If you do not respect the word,the word will respond in kind. Why would you say such a thing as you did at the top of this post? It is cruel and disrespectful. You have crossed the boundry as far as dissagreeing with what I say and now passing a judgement on me. You have done time after time to others as well. This is the first and I promise you the last time that I will allow you to insult me. I am not the most highly educated person here or well read for that matter. But I always try my best to convey how I feel without malice towards any person . Maybe I'm that retarded child that you wished on someone else? Remember? Good bye becket.
dolson
Sat, 04/21/2012 - 09:10
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Welcome Steve
Glad you finally see the light Steve. Welcome aboard.
That it does Steve.
We know that Steve. It doesn't matter what old man becket thinks.
That's all marietta becket is about. Don't think for a moment that this is not the case. Don't invest in a word that the hateful old man writes.
That's how the old man and his sidekick trolls roll.
That's okay Steve. Having a fake Master's Degree in Criminology, or winning a fictional Grammy, is not required to participate here. Just ask clarietta.
That is appreciated here Steve. Old man becket and his merry band of derailers are not real people. Do not think of them as such.
You have a place here Steve. If you want to see retarded, scroll to any posts by billybudd the dud. He recites bad poetry, with old man becket's noodle is in his mouth. Crass, but most assuredly true.
Remember this Steve, that marietta=becket=clara.
Looking forward to reading you in the future Steve. Have a great day.
Go ahead, enjoy yourselves - it's getting late, much later than you think.
becket
Sat, 04/21/2012 - 10:50
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"I waited for you. Nobody
"I waited for you. Nobody came."
“The essence of the independent mind lies not in what it thinks, but in how it thinks.”
― Christopher Hitchens, Letters to a Young Contrarian
Clara
Fri, 04/20/2012 - 20:48
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So Orange is wrong when he
So Orange is wrong when he says that all opinions are welcome? I have learned alot from this forum, Steve. When that no longer happens, I will go. What amazes me is that you consider your experiences to be minimized when the antis do the very same thing to others. Tell me that any observer to the forum would be attracted to what this has been reduced to by the regulars verses the AAs.
Remember Christopher Stevens when you vote.
causeandeffect
Fri, 04/20/2012 - 21:04
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It's his forum to do with as
It's his forum to do with as he pleases. However your persistence in coming here day after day forcing your agenda on people who have been harmed by the AA philosophy is absolutely no different than a rapist forcing his agenda on a rape survivor's support group. It's only your lack of morals, arrogance and selfishness that allows you to do so.
Troll free AA critical forum
http://www.expaa.org/
"The good thing about science is that it's true whether or not you believe in it." ~ Neil deGrasse Tyson
becket
Fri, 04/20/2012 - 21:49
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Yes, it is his forum to do
Yes, it is his forum to do with as he pleases. I'm interested to see how arbitrarily people get banned or reprimanded here.
If you think I'm "forcing" my "agenda" on people who have been "harmed by the AA philosophy" you haven't even seen me in gear. I don't think anyone here has been harmed by the actual AA philosophy. I think anyone who feels they suffered threats or psychological or economic damage as a result of the 12 steps should really be aiming for the treatment centers and opportunists who in no way represent anything "12 step". I contend the program itself is harmless. It's the people who maladapt words and phrases and ideas put forth in the first 164 pages of the Big Book that are doing the damage, along with those who make up shit like 90 in 90 and just go to six meetings . . . That's not AA.
You people aren't stupid (with a couple of notable exceptions). You could have walked away at any time or, if mandated, you could have done your time with earplugs and a good book and satisfied the court - then you could have put it behind you. Why do you want to carry this sputtering torch for all the "harm" done to you? Do you want to be regarded as victims? OK, then, I'll start addressing you as victims from here on out. See how satisfying that is.
Do please explain how the hell a rapist forces "his agenda on a rape survivor's support group"? Isn't a rapist's agenda to commit rape? Does he ask a support group of rape survivors to line up and wait their turn? I'm serious! This is a ludicrous charge you're making. Maybe you could word it so it makes sense.
Glad to know, though, that you finally came around to seeing I have a total lack of arrogance and selfishness. Thanks for the compliment!
“The essence of the independent mind lies not in what it thinks, but in how it thinks.”
― Christopher Hitchens, Letters to a Young Contrarian
JR Harris
Fri, 04/20/2012 - 21:57
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Do you speak from experience about being banned Marietta?
How does someone get "banned" from an AA meeting? Is Clancy "banned" from any churches or other places because of his obvious ties to Midtown, opposite sex Sponsorship and anti-medication stance? He is putting newcomers at grave risk you know.....
"Tradition 10 - Alcoholics Anonymous has no opinion on outside issues; hence the AA name ought never be drawn into public controversy." Please follow orders from the Interchurch Center if you are an AA member and don't comment.
becket
Sat, 04/21/2012 - 10:53
Permalink
Well, JR Harris, I would have
Well, JR Harris, I would have no way of knowing the answers to any of your super-compelling questions.
“The essence of the independent mind lies not in what it thinks, but in how it thinks.”
― Christopher Hitchens, Letters to a Young Contrarian
Clara
Fri, 04/20/2012 - 22:00
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What is my agenda, Cause? I
What is my agenda, Cause? I have never once suggested anyone return to the rooms of AA. You couldn't tell me what my agenda is because you don't know. It was interesting to read your response and Beckett's. I just spoke with Dena earlier today about all this anger and frustration, and why people come to AA with no idea what it is for. She said AA has suffered from the rehab business that believes that chemical dependancy is just that - no difference between drugs or alcohol. That is why you get all of these people in AA when their issues are completely different. She says this started when she was first in rehab decades ago. Then they get to AA and are very confused.
But I wonder why people are at all surprised by the spiritual nature of the program. Can't they read those steps on the walls? If they don't think that is for them, then why not pursue other options that have been available? SOS was around 27 years ago. SMART since 1992. Rational Recovery, too. You all talk about those very options yet behave as if they weren't around for you. When does anyone take some personal responsibility? Instead, what I am told is that I should be carting people around in my car to physically show them other options even though I cannot personally endorse them. Otherwise, I am not really interested in helping people with "recovery." I should be paying for flights to Charlie Sheen's Sober Lodge ... some of the thinking here is as nonsensical as you believe mine is.
Remember Christopher Stevens when you vote.
JR Harris
Fri, 04/20/2012 - 22:10
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AA goes to jails and prisons to recruit new "prospects"
If you have a problem with the criminal element in AA you should do something about it, instead of claiming it doesn't happen in your groups. Being a Clancy groupie, you should talk to him and tell him to quit going into jails and prisons, working with the court system (I know he claims he doesn't) and change his stance on opposite sex partners (Midtown legacy) and anti-medication.
Source: http://www.wheremostneeded.org/2007/05/aa_group_accuse.html
"Tradition 10 - Alcoholics Anonymous has no opinion on outside issues; hence the AA name ought never be drawn into public controversy." Please follow orders from the Interchurch Center if you are an AA member and don't comment.
Persephone In Exile
Sat, 04/21/2012 - 06:14
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Chemical dependency IS just
Chemical dependency IS just that. There is no difference. What on earth makes you think otherwise?
http://badrecovery.blogspot.com/
Clara
Sat, 04/21/2012 - 07:05
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I don't necessarily believe
I don't necessarily believe that, PIE. I also belong to a fellowship that focuses on but one addiction out there, and it has been that way since the 30's. Yet somehow this group that no one on this board seems to care for should change for them and their circumstance, which is just illogical. Why not leave AA to do its business and pursue something with a philosphy that better suits the individual?
Even if you believe that chemical dependency is all equal, AA is for alcoholics to help other alcoholics with the same problem. Does that make it any clearer?
I thinkt he criticism is just another way to find fault with something that either didn't work for someone or just wasn't what they needed, yet they were sent there anyway, which is wrong for everyone.
Remember Christopher Stevens when you vote.
alkieanon
Sat, 04/21/2012 - 06:29
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Agenda
What agenda is being forced by whom?
This morning's gem is "Lies, lies and more AA lies". Fact or opinion? An intentional inflammatory throwaway line intended to provoke a response?
dolson
Sat, 04/21/2012 - 09:11
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Troll's Agenda
This is obviously your agenda. Get back to the basement troll.
Go ahead, enjoy yourselves - it's getting late, much later than you think.
alkieanon
Sat, 04/21/2012 - 19:25
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Provoke a Response
Yep, that is obviously the agenda of the original poster: "Lies, lies and more AA lies". To provoke a response. Get back to the basement? Why, are there bats in your belfry?
dolson
Sat, 04/21/2012 - 07:48
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marietta=becket=clara
Not at all. Your constant trolling and derailing are not welcome, neither is your lying and misrepresentation becket.
This is another lie marietta.
I do not wish to see any sincere posters minimized, but I would love to see you, and your ilk removed completely.
This is more rhetoric in your campaign of propaganda clarietta. I see you.
clara=marietta=becket
Go ahead, enjoy yourselves - it's getting late, much later than you think.
Clara
Sat, 04/21/2012 - 08:49
Permalink
I am sure that Orange could
I am sure that Orange could dispell your belief if he wanted to. I am not Beckett or Marietta.
Remember Christopher Stevens when you vote.
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