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I have left AA 3 times and each time I have gone back to destructive drinking. This last time I was very clear that the confusion I was experiencing was from AA and the problems that the steppers and all their drama were causing me in my life was the reason I wanted as far away from AA and my so called stepper friends as possible. The logical place to go was the bar as the alcohol temporarily relieved my stress and anxiety and there were many people at the bar I could talk with to process through all my problems.

I had several stints with AA - the longest lasting over 4 years. My problem was that AA builds up the idea that you are either in meetings or out drinking yourself to death. They don't promote any alternative. My problem was I could no longer stand the same people saying the same things over and over again - it became torture.

Over the years I have met many people who went back to drinking. When you knew them from AA they automatically assume you are still going and become slightly apologetic, so it is never long before the reason for leaving surfaces. 9 out of 10 (roughly...lol) said it was for the complete boredom and nothing happening. And the vast majority of these didn't have glaring character defects - they just drank too much.

Getting ‘bored’ with AA isn’t usually the main problem with it, as you would know if you have ever bothered to read and try to understand the testimony of many people here.

Clara, I’m getting a bit confused about you wrt AA. A couple of weeks ago you said that you no longer go to meetings (and therefore are not actually a member of AA) except for those occasions when your husband asks you to go and ‘support’ him. But you seem to be talking now as if you still are a member. But good for you for keeping yourself sober and law-abiding without meetings - probably the best way to do it.

I still consider myself to be part of the herd. I have a large support group of friends in MB that are members, and my husband and I still do our morning readings, which include meditations from many sources. I was referring to Ben's post where he indicated that many left because they were bored. I know other people that feel that they just outgrew the need for it. I have never bought into the notion that when and if people left, the only other choice was to drink.

Just driven back from wales with a group of people who had all been through AA and left because they thought it was sick, useless shit. We had many years between us and none had relapsed since leaving. We have all had one on one help that was was not 12 step based and are all pretty down to earth. It was great to see and be part of. We had all been to a great wedding at the coast where there had been a full on party with loads of musicians from the 70's and had a great time. I even enjoyed the church bit, Probably because it half in welsh and I could not understand it so spent the time looking at the beautiful surroundings.

I always think that AA and the depressed characters that hang out there drags you down. Many program themselves to fail . There are so many other ways that are much more positive and yet many just assume AA is the answer and don't bother to look for alternatives. This is not really surprising considering the brainwashing bullshit that you get subjected to as a newcomer.
I remember taking all the relapse talk stuff seriously, and that makes it hard to leave after you have been told the same old rubbish over and over about not going to meetings. Leaving that behind was the best thing my friends and myself have done. I do blame AA and the way it has retarded recovery for the fact that so few manage to change. There is is the potential for so much harm by those nutters with thir made up religon and stupid dogma for the unwary. I am not surprised that some go on a binge after being driven mad by step 4 etc to escape that crap. I never have to hear chapter 5 or those stupid little slogans again.

As I know now that I can remain abstinent without being in a religious cult or any program for that matter. Abstinence is the goal not religious conversion. I would not have had any problem with staying abstinent and being a part of AA if I could find one person over the years who could show me in their everyday life what they were preaching at AA meetings. I met more confused and messed up people in AA to last me three lifetimes. Black and white thinking is real and AA does a very good job creating an environment where it flourishes. If you do not go to AA you will drink simple message that gets heard constantly from anyone going into that cult. Add that to the sexual and financial predators that I personally experienced and "hell yes, I'll have a beer." Plus I had a huge desire to spend time with some "normies" just to see if they had any integrity which I was looking for and not finding in AA.

at first AA was fun, like watching a sideshow circus with real freaks, then it became uninteresting , just a revolving door of unhappy people. When the group think starts to take over and you start spouting slogans you notice your beginning to become one of them and you split .. One of us, one of us..

msafrany you have just described a simple program

Of course people relapse to escape the cult. Of course they do. They are only given 2 options: stay in the cult forever and ever, or drink and die. Nobody ever tells them they can just not drink. So they they do the only other thing they know which is to drink. And it's understandable, after watching all those people trapped in character defects, often probably only induced by AA, for years and years and on to decades. Sick people getting sicker and more entrenched in it. Hearing the same stories repeated all the time. Being told there is no other way day in and day out. Like HS said, the crazy making from most of those people is enough to make anybody drink.

Yes, msfrany, great description, it's enough to keep you off kilter all the time, isn't it?