Things I learnt in AA

BB Kate's picture
Submitted by BB Kate on Mon, 03/26/2012 - 21:36

I was taught many things in my six years as an AA member.

Here are some of them:

I am not a bad person
I am a sick person
I will always be an alcoholic
I am physically and mentally powerless
I can not trust my own mind
I must leave my brain at the door
Some people are too smart for AA
I must get a sponsor
I must do what my sponsor tells me
I must be willing to go to any lengths
I must do the steps
I must study the steps repeatedly
I must not question the steps
I must do a moral inventory
I am spiritually sick
Only God can relieve me of the obsession to drink
I must hand my will and my life over to God
God will only relieve me one day at a time
I must show gratitude to God
I must maintain a constant contact with God
The level of my anxiety is a measure of my distance from God
If i think i have done enough meetings, do another one
The disease will tell me i am well
Wanting to leave AA is a sign i am unwell
Without the program of AA, I will be a dry drunk
If i leave AA i will drink ... eventually
If i leave AA and don't drink, i will be unhappy
If i leave AA, don't drink and am not unhappy, I was probably never an alcoholic to begin with
If i leave AA, i will be considered dangerous
If i leave AA, , i will be the subject of gossip
If i leave AA, my friends will stop calling me

There are many other things i learnt, but this is a start ...

Comments

massive's picture

massive

Mon, 03/26/2012 - 23:27

OMG this is so funny!!!!!! you go girl. Get de programmed ! Friggen awesome post. I just read this to my husband. He said OMG too.

Here's my list-

I have to do anything someone asks me ...to be of service. I don't matter
My family doesnt matter.

I am sick and broken inside
Call friends when you need to talk, your best thinking is dangerous
Go to meetings forever

hey are you in LA? IF you are can we go to a meeting together and give them hell? Im ready to do it. My hubby will come with.

Massive

Clara's picture

Clara

Tue, 03/27/2012 - 06:35

I have no idea what program you were in, Massive. I did a ton of service work in MB, but I was never told that I couldn't say no. I chose what I did. I certainly mattered and my life was worth saving and getting out of the grips of booze. My family DID matter, which is why making some amends that they surely deserved was worth it. They even made some to me. After living a country away from a sister I never understood my entire life, she's now one of my best friends and greatest supporters. Instead of clamming up, I DO share what I feel with trusted others and gain from the advice even though I don't have to take it, and nowhere does it say that I have to go to meetings for the rest of my life. In fact, in Living Sober, that very issue is addressed.

Remember Christopher Stevens when you vote.

BB Kate's picture

BB Kate

Tue, 03/27/2012 - 18:30

I'm in Australia. But i'll look you up if i ever get to LA!

Ripping the Big Book a new one, One Day at a Time

becket's picture

becket

Mon, 03/26/2012 - 23:51

WAIT!!!!!!!!!

I thought you were trying to sell the idea that this stuff was sad, pathetic, and wrong-headed - NOT FUNNY.

Please do go to a meeting and give them hell, and please do videotape it so we can get a full truthful report about how it went.

“The essence of the independent mind lies not in what it thinks, but in how it thinks.”
― Christopher Hitchens, Letters to a Young Contrarian

mfc66uk

Tue, 03/27/2012 - 07:07

Actually if you read the steps or any standard AA type phrases to normal not gullible spiritual type people, they will laugh at them because they are pathetic .

Clara's picture

Clara

Tue, 03/27/2012 - 07:06

I am not sure if they considered themselves to be normal, but a friend of mine used a great many of the sayings at the commune in Mass decades before she ever joined AA. John Barleycorn wasn't even original. I also think they might feel similarly to as I felt when I first read the steps. Since I had seen most of them in major religions around the world, it just seemed like a compilation of tips to decent living. I've found that to be true.

Remember Christopher Stevens when you vote.

jonnijoy's picture

jonnijoy

Tue, 03/27/2012 - 02:42

I always liked the phrase Live and Let Live. Keep it simple isnt too bad either.

msafrany

Tue, 03/27/2012 - 05:47

Yeah...right.

People are fighting for their lives, and none of these fuckin steppers can agree on what part of the program is actually essential to sobriety.
What other form of treatment can you decide which parts you want to keep, which parts you can leave out? Oh, that's right, it works with the steps because the steps don't do anythng beyond religious conversion.
"It works if you are sober"

Clara's picture

Clara

Tue, 03/27/2012 - 07:09

Maybe it is different for each person, MSA. I did all of the steps as did most people I know in the fellowship. Others might not have done them all yet they still found measures of peace and improvement in their lives.

As far as religious conversions, I don't think I know anyone that lives their chosen religion perfectly. My dad was a Methodist, but still enjoyed the occasional beer. I know Catholics that are pro-choice. So be it.

Remember Christopher Stevens when you vote.

becket's picture

becket

Tue, 03/27/2012 - 18:36

It's a wonderful thing, msafrany, that we are all entitled to an opinion.

“The essence of the independent mind lies not in what it thinks, but in how it thinks.”
― Christopher Hitchens, Letters to a Young Contrarian

becket's picture

becket

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 22:05

Why are they "fighting for their lives", msafrany, if it's just as simple as putting down the booze? I thought your whole premise was that all anyone has to do is STOP. I don't think I've ever read anything you've written that contradicts your own theory as much as "people are fighting for their lives". What is the nature of this fight? Is it all people, or just drunks? Is it all drunks or just real alcoholics? Is it real alcoholics or any alcoholics? What are they fighting for? The best seats in the nuthouse so they watch the game on the big screen?

Pfft.

“The essence of the independent mind lies not in what it thinks, but in how it thinks.”
― Christopher Hitchens, Letters to a Young Contrarian

Pogue Mahone

Tue, 03/27/2012 - 07:24

I have heard many times at meetings not to say no to service work. I was asked once to to give a lead at a meeting only a couple days after a relapse so I got conned into it only to have some oldheimer criticize me because I didn't mention god in my lead and that for the first year I should "shut the fuck up and listen." What a mindfuck those assholes put people through.

Clara's picture

Clara

Tue, 03/27/2012 - 08:13

In my group, this wouldn't have happened because you had to have 6 months of sobriety before leading and a simple disclosure of "I've just relapsed" would have ended the discussion.

Remember Christopher Stevens when you vote.

Pennywise's picture

Pennywise

Tue, 03/27/2012 - 08:30

What a joke. Not you, I mean AA.

"Hokey religions and ancient weapons are no match for a good blaster at your side, kid."

avogadno's picture

avogadno

Tue, 03/27/2012 - 09:35

It would have been great if once in a while a person that had just relapsed or only had a couple months of sobriety gave a lead. Who else better to learn from?

The poor guy or gal that just relapsed needs to be heard and under normal circumstances would benefit from members hearing his story. They could then offer feedback during their own shares about tips they used to help overcome the cravings.

Pro Empowerment!
Truth about AA: http://orange-papers.org/menu1.html
Expose AA: http://www.expaa.org/

Pennywise's picture

Pennywise

Tue, 03/27/2012 - 19:10

The only tip for coping with cravings that they'll tell you is to go to a meeting.

"Hokey religions and ancient weapons are no match for a good blaster at your side, kid."

flannigan

Tue, 03/27/2012 - 11:13

Enjoyed your post. You were lied to (but I'm sure you know that).

BB Kate's picture

BB Kate

Tue, 03/27/2012 - 18:34

I was told by an AA "friend" that "I am the kind of person who needs to speak my truth".

Apparently this is not the case for others in the fellowship

Ripping the Big Book a new one, One Day at a Time

becket's picture

becket

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 22:08

I find it interesting that you distinguish between your truth and "the truth". Care to discuss the difference?

“The essence of the independent mind lies not in what it thinks, but in how it thinks.”
― Christopher Hitchens, Letters to a Young Contrarian

BB Kate's picture

BB Kate

Wed, 04/04/2012 - 00:03

Becket, I'm not sure why you find it interesting - i feel like you are trying to get at something. Care to elaborate?

In the situation i referred to, my "friend" was referring to "my truth" as being honest with myself, those close to me, and when i shared at meetings. She was referring to the way in which i state my experience for what it is, rather than simply repeating slogans etc, or what was expected of me by others in AA.

One such example was when i spoke about how many members say that there AA birthday is more important to them now than their regular birthday. I said that i felt this this originally (largely because i felt i needed to), but have now come to regard my regular birthday with more fondness. I came to see sobriety birthdays as just another day of not drinking. In contrast, my regular birthday was a time when i coudl celebrate myself with my family and friends - even more so now that i had self esteem.

Another example was when i decided to reject sposnorship for myself at about 5 years sober, because i saw no need for it. Whereas others in AA kept a sponsor because they were told they needed it to stay honest, and that choosing not to have a sponsor was a sign of "the disease".

Personally, i make no claim to "the truth". It's a deep philosophical question as to whether there is truth. Post-modern philosophers like to argue there is no "truth", but i don't think this is necessarily so. Although... if some form of truth does exist, i don't think i will ever know it.

Ripping the Big Book a new one, One Day at a Time

mfc66uk

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 01:08

I learnt how to stack chairs, sweep floors and wash tea cups. I now have a good knowledge of pay and display parking spaces in various parts of London. I learnt that any advice from a stepper is often I'll conceived and should be treated with caution as many in the rooms are delusional. I learnt to take a step back and examine the facts rather than blindly believe in a made up faith healing programme just because others choose to do so and are not strong or mentally stable enough to question it. I learnt not to only use methods written in a book in the 1930's to live in the modern world. I learnt not to trust a sponsors judgement especially if they have been in the programme for years as they will have lost touch with reality. I learnt not share anything that I would not repeated in coffe shops or cafes throughout the world.

istj04

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 21:31

What you "learnt" in AA, sounds like the basis for a NEW PAMPHLET! ;) Call it, "What AA Teaches"!