ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS -and the benefits thereof

live_free_or_die's picture
Submitted by live_free_or_die on Mon, 03/05/2012 - 22:05

What are the benefits of being a member of Alcoholics Anonymous?

1. Perhaps the longest lasting benefit is you get to attend the rest of your life.
2. god will perform miracles for you. Actually your higher power. But really god.
3. You get to admit that you are a powerless schmuck, not worth a dime, till you find god.
4. You get a sponsor, free of charge (maybe not) - psst, your sponsor is also a powerless schmuck.
5. You get a new religion that you are told is just spiritual, but is really a religion.
6. You get to call yourself an alcoholic. For the rest of your life.
7. You get to "inventory" all of your character defects (you really are just one, big defect)
8. You get to stay out of jails, institutions and prisons
9. You get a bunch of slogans to remind you that you are in AA (let go, let god-my favorite)
10. You get to do some 13 steppin
11. If your a female, you get 13 stepped
12. You get to relapse

What are some other benefits of membership in AA?

Comments

Pogue Mahone

Mon, 03/05/2012 - 22:54

You get to color the big book with pretty highlight markers.

massive's picture

massive

Tue, 03/06/2012 - 00:46

you get to believe you are in a special secret society that in some way will help your career.

LIE!

Massive

Trisha K.'s picture

Trisha K.

Tue, 03/06/2012 - 10:38

I seems to be the rumor I heard.

“The more I traveled the more I realized that fear makes strangers of people who should be friends.”
Shirley MacLaine

massive's picture

massive

Wed, 03/07/2012 - 00:04

no

do you go with your husband? NOSY!

Massive

Clara's picture

Clara

Tue, 03/06/2012 - 15:43

What could you mean by this? I don't see any kind of inclusion of information of an alcohol or addiction problem as a resume builder. Having said that, I can't see sobriety as anything but a help, regardless of how you do it.

Remember Christopher Stevens when you vote.

live_free_or_die's picture

live_free_or_die

Thu, 03/08/2012 - 18:32

I couldn't agree more with your statement "I can't see sobriety as anything but a help regardless of how you do it."

That is the very reason I am against AA. AA has a very poor record of keeping people from drinking.

Well, there is another reason I am against AA - AA KILLS PEOPLE!

Alcoholics Anonymous: MyNotGodHasItCovered®
http://www.expaa.org/
http://bereanresearch.com/
http://badrecovery.blogspot.com/
NOT AA:
Rational Recovery, SOS, HAMS
http://alcoholabusesolutions.com/

roelschlager1727

Tue, 03/06/2012 - 05:14

You get to search for churches you did not know existed.

btnben's picture

btnben

Tue, 03/06/2012 - 05:01

........ the photo of a 13th stepping con man and a sadistic religious nut ass doctor...lol

God damn it, get me a whiskey

Bill W, Deathbed

http://www.youtube.com/watch?source=patrick.net&v=Sdn3O6aaMNc

JR Harris's picture

JR Harris

Tue, 03/06/2012 - 05:08

It is often said that jails and prisons are the "universities" of criminal behavior and people coming out learn more about how to be a criminal and not get caught than when they arrived. If you want to learn these traits without going to jails or prisons as an inmate, you can join AA and go as a missionary for the AA faith, or just learn from the criminal prospects brought back to the home groups in residential areas by these missionaries.

"Tradition 10 - Alcoholics Anonymous has no opinion on outside issues; hence the AA name ought never be drawn into public controversy." Please follow orders from the Interchurch Center if you are an AA member and don't comment.

avogadno's picture

avogadno

Tue, 03/06/2012 - 10:39

You also learn about where you can go and what you can do to get control over other people. AA allows that and encourages it. Clean time? Come on in, be a sponsor and run the lives of others.

Pro Empowerment!
Truth about AA: http://orange-papers.org/menu1.html
Expose AA: http://www.expaa.org/

Clara's picture

Clara

Tue, 03/06/2012 - 15:44

Never ran the lives of others. The job is to help someone through the steps.

Remember Christopher Stevens when you vote.

becket's picture

becket

Tue, 03/06/2012 - 15:46

Very nearly every American corporation, or business using a sales staff, teaches its employees how to be a good con man/woman. There's nothing exclusively AA about this.

“The essence of the independent mind lies not in what it thinks, but in how it thinks.”
― Christopher Hitchens, Letters to a Young Contrarian

Gordon

Tue, 03/06/2012 - 10:01

You will be told that only you can save others from demon rum, and no sacrifice is too large to make when trying to save other drunks. Your family must take a back seat.

Gordon

becket's picture

becket

Tue, 03/06/2012 - 15:44

Not all are married, and not all married need "an excuse" to leave home at night. Some wives/girlfriends/partners do not tend a suspicious mindset.

“The essence of the independent mind lies not in what it thinks, but in how it thinks.”
― Christopher Hitchens, Letters to a Young Contrarian

Clara's picture

Clara

Tue, 03/06/2012 - 15:45

of course, you could go to open meetings and take them and finish with dinner someplace. My husband and I go to meetings together, which is surely not to confuse it with date night, but it hasn't been a problem. We also don't go daily.

Remember Christopher Stevens when you vote.

Gordon

Tue, 03/06/2012 - 10:11

You become a member of the largest NEWCOMER RESCUE SQUAD in the world.
You may start rescuing people in your first week in the program. It will give you
a life second to none.

Gordon

avogadno's picture

avogadno

Tue, 03/06/2012 - 10:38

Long time, no see Gordon. I'm happy to see you back, I was hoping that all was well when I didn't see you posting for a while.

Pro Empowerment!
Truth about AA: http://orange-papers.org/menu1.html
Expose AA: http://www.expaa.org/

massive's picture

massive

Wed, 03/07/2012 - 00:06

yea good to see you Gordon!

Massive

mfc66uk

Tue, 03/06/2012 - 10:55

You can admit to praying to a lightbulb without feeling stupid.
They once had great bread and butter pudding at the over 8 meeting in Belgravia.
Really good cakes at Catford on a Thursday .
Good concert in Guilford on new years eve.
I got a christmas card from a famous model with her picture on the front( I still have it!)
If you have lead a sheltered life you get to meet quite a few criminals who have been in prison which some people found exciting and different to their normal circle of friends.

btnben's picture

btnben

Tue, 03/06/2012 - 10:57

Is EC still doing the Guildford thing?

God damn it, get me a whiskey

Bill W, Deathbed

http://www.youtube.com/watch?source=patrick.net&v=Sdn3O6aaMNc

Clara's picture

Clara

Tue, 03/06/2012 - 15:49

I have always thought of that analogy as something of humor. It might be different in the UK. In our club, it simply meant to put something above yourself, outside of yourself. You aren't the center of the universe. I seriously doubt that anyone prayed to a lightbulb. It never occurred to me that someone would until I came to this forum.

Remember Christopher Stevens when you vote.

mfc66uk

Tue, 03/06/2012 - 12:24

He was a few years back with an amazing line up but I'm not sure if he still does meetings any more. He gave a friend of mine some really good advice on where to go for help outside the rooms and that man helped me. He is much more open minded than many in the rooms and as a result was the subject of some pretty un called for gossip from certain people who should know better.

btnben's picture

btnben

Tue, 03/06/2012 - 15:52

'96 or '97 was the last time I was up there. A good night was had by all...lol

God damn it, get me a whiskey

Bill W, Deathbed

http://www.youtube.com/watch?source=patrick.net&v=Sdn3O6aaMNc

Pogue Mahone

Tue, 03/06/2012 - 12:59

You get to compare your foil hats with other cult members.

becket's picture

becket

Tue, 03/06/2012 - 15:49

Why compare a hat to a person or group of people?

“The essence of the independent mind lies not in what it thinks, but in how it thinks.”
― Christopher Hitchens, Letters to a Young Contrarian

massive's picture

massive

Wed, 03/07/2012 - 00:05

You get to live in fear forever . ALso you can be afraid to walk down the liquor isle in the grocery stores forever. Isn't that special.

Massive