My TV smoked the other day, so I took it to the TV repairman. He looked it over,
and then told me, "I can fix it, but only if you believe in electronics." 

I said that I didn't understand what he meant. 

He said that it was necessary for me to believe in electronics, and to believe
that the fix would work, in order for it to work. 

I told him, "Well, yeh, I guess I believe it will work, if you fix it right." 

He said, "No, no, no! That isn't good enough. You have to really believe that it
will work." He fixed me with a steely glare and got right in my face. "You must
totally believe in electronics. You must rid yourself of all doubts. You must
abandon Reason and human intelligence, and completely give yourself to this
simple repair program. Grit your teeth together harder, to make yourself more
religious, and say, 'I really, really, *really* believe in electronics.'" 

I took my TV to another repairman. That guy was nuts.

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A.A. = Alzheimer's Anonymous 

Those people are a real bitch to work with. It's nearly impossible to get them
to do their Fourth through Seventh Steps correctly, because they go and forget
all of their sins before they confess them.

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                 Overcoming the Heartbreak of Truckism

Truckism is an incurable, progressive, usually-fatal spiritual disease that
manifests itself in the uncontrollable urge to throw oneself in front of trucks.

It often begins in childhood with simple jay-walking, giving in to the urge to
take a shortcut across the street, seeking an easier, softer way. 

Then it progresses to deliberately stepping in front of cars at crosswalks,
arrogantly insisting that they are required by law to stop for you. 

Finally, truckism grows into an irresistible compulsion to go down to the
freeway and jump in front of fully-loaded, speeding, double-trailer semi trucks.

The victim of Truckism is powerless over his urges. Only a spiritual cure can
fix this dreaded spiritual disease. 

The National Association for Truckism, Jay-Walking, and Other Road-Crossing
Disorders (NATJAWORD) has found that the spiritual 12-step meetings of
self-help groups like T.A. (Truckics Anonymous) can help in the recovery from
this terrible heart-breaking disease.

As one T.A. member explained, "Recovery isn't easy. It requires a lot of work,
a lot of meetings, a lot of doing the Twelve Steps, and above all, real rigorous
honesty about your total worthlessness. But we are here to help, and ready to
offer you unconditional love, whenever you are ready to admit what a pathetic
loser you really are."

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